“What are some of your strategies for having difficult conversations with students?”
I think the most important thing is to develop a rapport with the students. I need to make sure students know that I’m not going to judge them if they come to me for help. Students need to be able to trust me before they are ever going to be willing to have any difficult conversation with me.
I believe that sometimes our students want to have the difficult conversations with us but don’t know how to start it. Sometimes their behavior makes us want to avoid these conversations and ignore it because it is the easier thing to do. But I didn’t become a teacher because it is the easier thing to do. One of the hardest things to do is to read between the lines. Look for what my student is not saying as much as what the student is saying. I look at body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice as much as the words that are spoken.
Sometimes it is most important that I listen rather than talk. Believe me, this is really hard for me. While I’m listening, sometimes I am formulating what I am going to say and I’m so focused on my own thoughts, that I’m not listening to what is being said. This can be very obvious, and the student will shut down.
I don’t always need to solve the student’s problem. I think it is important after active listening that I ask the student what they want from me. What can I do to help? Their answer may be that I already have by listening. Or they may want me to come up with suggestions to solve the problem. But I don’t offer these suggestions unless they are asked for. If I offer them when they aren’t asked for, I’m unconsciously telling the student that they are not capable or strong enough to solve their own problems. I want them to grow confident enough that they learn problem-solving skills so if I’m solving their problems for them, they will never gain the skills they need for success in life.
How do you have difficult conversations with your students? Please share.
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