IEP Meeting Facilitator

It is really hard to be an IEP meeting facilitator because you are juggling many different hats. You are the liaison between administrators, educators, and parents. You are the leader who needs to keep everyone following the meeting agenda. You are also the peacemaker during conflicts.

Recently on one of my discussion boards, this question was asked:

“I am preparing for a job interview as an IEP meeting facilitator in my building. What would be the best way to respond to the question, how would you handle when a member of an IEP team disagrees with placement or eligibility?”

Here is what I responded:

“In response to how I would handle a situation when a member of an IEP team disagrees with placement or eligibility, I would do the following:

• Listen to why the team member disagrees.
• Consider their concerns.
• Offer possible answers to their concerns.
• If further information or consideration is needed to make an informed decision, ask that the meeting be reconvened at a later time to address these concerns.”

Further discussion brought other responses such as

“I have often dealt with this question. On my team we take the time to discuss the eligibility and the placement prior to the meeting. On our agenda we have a goal to meet at a Special Ed team up to 10 days prior to the meeting. As you know you have 45 days to meet with the parents therefore on my team we set a goal to have testing finished in 35 days. This way if there is any disagreement we can discuss it and make sure the team is clear on the recommendations. Be sure that the decision for the recommendation is based on the data of the testing, observations, teacher and parent input.”

As a response to the above comments, someone stated, “I know that a lot of teams will have 'the meeting before the meeting', but I would be very careful about discussing placement before an IEP is written because we cannot pre-determine placement. That is the last piece. After the IEP is agreed upon, the team must determine LRE. Be careful about documenting pre-determinations as that could get you into some legal issues.”

I also felt the need to respond because I feel that parent involvement is vital to helping the student be successful in whatever placement is decided. It is easy to fall into ways that seem easier for the educators but is really not appropriate no matter how much easier it is.

Remember that parents are part of the IEP team. Any discussions about placement or eligibility need to involve them in order to make the best decision for the student. The law clearly states that parents have the right to participate in meetings related to the evaluation, identification, and educational placement of their child.

By not including parents in the discussion and then having a meeting where it is apparent that the educators have already made a decision will only make parents and educators adversaries instead of team players. All discussions need to be transparent and all team members, of which parents are a part, need to be included in the discussion.

Photo by Redd on Unsplash

Learning to Disagree

In On Being Wrong from Engage Their Minds, the author shares,

“When we are certain we are right, we often make false assumptions about those who disagree.”

Everything is not all black and white and I believe I need to teach my students this concept. Sometimes a decision is based on surrounding circumstances and the individuals involved. We see that happen a lot in courtrooms where a judge makes a decision on a case-to-case basis.

Everyone in my life doesn’t have to agree with me or the things that I believe in. My friends can disagree with me and we can still be friends. I think too many adults show children that only people who agree with them are allowed to be a part of their lives.

I don’t mind having people disagree with me because they might have a different perspective on the situation than I do. I can hear their reasoning why they feel a certain way and I don’t have to agree with them.

My mother used to tell me, “We will have to agree to disagree.” I think she taught me a lot by drumming this in my head. We can agree to disagree and still be friends.

Lately, I have seen adults acting as “it’s my way or the highway!” If you don’t agree with me, then I don’t want you as my friend on social media or in my life.

What a sad commentary on their life! If I only surround myself with people who think like me, am I not losing the chance to have a richer life? Do I want this kind of future for my students?

I think it is important to teach my students to listen to others fully even though they might disagree with them. They need to listen with an open mind and not shut them out by thinking of their own arguments. They need to let the other person share all that they are thinking without interrupting them. If they need to write down the points the other person said so they don’t forget, then make a list. Explain that the notes are there so they don’t interrupt the speaker.

After the other person talks, then the first person can go over the points that they don’t agree with. The second person can repeat the process of listening fully and taking notes if necessary.

If you can’t come to an agreement on a point of view, it is okay. It is okay to have differing opinions. That is what makes the world a better place. The important thing is that people need to listen to each other and stop shutting each other out.

Photo by Thomas Park on Unsplash

Constant Discord

I’m tired of hearing about Black Lives Matter (I’m not against it and if people want to peacefully protest about it, I’m all for it). I’m totally against police brutality and I think there has been a lot of wrong violent acts by the police against many people besides black people. Having it constantly on the news feels like it is being shoved down my throat. I think the media is at fault for fanning the flames and keeping this discord continually stirred up.

I don’t feel like this is the way to make change. It is making me feel tired and resentful. I’m tired of hearing the words “white fragility” and “anti-racism” in every other sentence on the news, on my podcasts, and even in emails from companies. These are just buzz words and many companies/people are just being followers instead of leaders. I’ve started to avoid the news, podcasts that constantly harp on this subject, and even deleting any email that refers to this subject. Enough already!

Let’s face it, people are going to have prejudices because it is human nature. I don’t believe we will ever be able to eradicate it. People are prejudiced towards people’s weight. If you are large, you may be called fat or obese. If you are too skinny, you may be called anorexic or bulimic. If you are short, you are called shorty and teased. If you are a certain age, people may assume you are too young or too old to do something correctly.

My father was 100% Chinese and my mother was (50% Chinese and some Cherokee, English and who knows what else). This made my physical characteristics look very Asian. I am often asked, “Where are you from?” When I answer that I was born in New York, they tell me that is not what they want to know. What they really want to know is my cultural heritage. I don’t hear many people ask white or black people this question. Does this make me matter more than them? No. I was one of the few Asians in my school career. Many teachers treated me differently because of their expectations. They expected me to be a genius and when I didn’t show this ability, they were disappointed in me and tended to ignore me as if I didn’t exist. I encountered bullying on a daily basis until I left for college. As an adult, I still face prejudice at least once a month.

I had ancestors who worked on the Transcontinental Railroad who were treated like slaves. (My husband had ancestors who worked in the cotton mills who also were treated like slaves.)

Depending on what is going on in history, many different cultures and races were not treated very well. When the Irish came to the United States during the potato famine, they were treated pretty harshly by people already here in the states. During WWII, the Korean War, and Vietnam War, Asians are treated very poorly. Even today, older people with strong memories of those wars may treat me with distrust or dislike.

During the Exclusion Act, Chinese were treated unfairly. It was the first immigration law that excluded a whole ethnic group.

I don’t think that protests and violence and constantly talking about this is going to make a difference. I don’t think buying items from people of color is the way to make a difference. In fact, I feel like you are discriminating against other people. I want to buy things because of their quality and if they fill a need that I have not because of the sellers skin color. I think people need to act in a way they can be role models for others. If a company doesn’t have the same values that I have, then I will go to a different company that has the same product of the same quality. I don’t need to confront anyone or blast a company for what they believe in. I will show my opinion by my financial support or lack of financial support. If no one buys from a company because of their values, then they will be forced to close.

I don’t believe that just because I don’t agree with you, that we can’t be friends. I have friends that feel strongly about the Black Lives Matter movement and that is okay because that is something, they want to believe in. I just don’t want them to continually try to force me into believing what they believe in. I support other things, but I don’t try to shove it down everyone else’s throats to make them support things I believe in.

I hope that this constant discord can stop and we can make changes in an appropriate way. Yes, it may take time but eventually we can make a difference.

Photo by Zdeněk Macháček on Unsplash

Disagreements

In When You Disagree: How You Disagree May Be More Important Than the Disagreement Itself from  Cool Cat Teacher Blog by coolcatteacher@gmail.com, Victoria A Davis, Cool Cat Teacher asks,

“How do you disagree? Do you express your disagreement with the person’s actions but affirm that you care about the person? Or, do you defend your opinion so profoundly that you leave the person feeling that you only love them if they agree with you?”

When I was growing up, my parents did not argue in front of us. I never saw them have a disagreement. So, when I got married, I had a problem arguing with my husband when we disagreed. I saw arguments as a sign that something must be wrong with my marriage, so I didn’t argue and figuratively set all my problems in a closet. Then one day, I couldn’t take it anymore and the closet opened. I let my husband know I was unhappy with his action from two years ago! He was shocked. Finally, I learned that I couldn’t achieve any results if I waited that long and we needed to argue to work things out. Now, 36 years later, my husband thinks I do this way too well!

I also feel that I don’t have to agree all of the time with my friends. If they are my true friends, they will like me even if I don’t agree with them on certain things. I know that many of my friends have different political views than I do and they feel as strongly as I do so why argue about it. I know that I can’t change their view and I know they can’t change mine. So, when we get together, we avoid that topic. There are so many other things that we do agree on that I don’t let the things we don’t shape our friendship.

I think many students have trouble with this idea. Many students have not reached this stage in development where they can do this, but I think it is important to be an example for them and keep sharing this. I see students thinking they have to agree with everyone or they won’t be like. They think that they won’t be part of the group if they don’t agree with everyone. It is important to teach students to think for themselves and not have the “crowd mentality.”

I think a great activity would be to role play how to disagree. Have students come up with real situations that a student might face and role play how to handle the disagreement. This is like having a fire drill and being ready in case an emergency comes up. If students can practice what they will say before something happens, they can be prepared.

How do you teach students to handle disagreements? Please share.

Photo from https://flic.kr/p/8PgSPP

Digital Discomfort

In 7 Strategies for Addressing Digital Confrontation Via @MsCofino from Lisa Nielsen: The Innovative Educator, Lisa Nielsen shares,

“Innovative educator Kim Cofino discusses the topic of digital confrontation via Facebook Live where she shares ideas about how to engage meaningfully and respectfully when encountering uncomfortable online interactions. 

Cofino pushes educators to think about our own digital confrontations / discomforts and reflect upon on how we handled them them, dissecting what worked and what did not.”

I remember when I first started this blog ten years ago. I was very apprehensive about putting my ideas out there because I was sure that there were so many people who were more experienced than I was and many who knew more than I did. I was afraid that they might debate my ideas and opinions or call me a fraud! Then I realized that the discussion I could start was worth the anxiety. So what if people disagreed with me. Maybe they would change my mind and opinions or maybe it would help me clarify my thoughts and ideas. If I wasn’t getting my points across so that it confused people or they didn’t understand my point, then I needed to learn how to do a better job with my words.

I realized that as long as I didn’t have an accusatory tone or put people on the defensive, I could get a very civil discussion going about many different topics. One way I try to do this is by sharing things that I do and the reasons why I do them. I don’t try to impress my actions on to other people because we all are different and we act differently. Things that work for me might not work for others. I try to encourage people to give input and share if they do something differently or why things did or did not work for them.  So, when people usually join in the discussion, they don’t feel like I’m saying there is only one way to do something or that there is only one right answer.

Maybe my students feel the same way when they write a paper or blog about something they did. By putting things down in writing, we make ourselves vulnerable. It is like appearing at a party and not knowing anyone. Before long though, you will make new friends or join groups with people who have the same interests.

The hardest thing is taking the first step. Then I don’t see as people who disagree or confront me as a personal attack. I see this as an opportunity for personal growth. I may change my mind or I may feel even stronger about the way I see things.

How do you feel about digital discomfort? Please share.  

Presidential Election Year

I’m not going to get in any debate about who I’m for or against. But I have learned a lot during all of the hullabaloo that is going on. I don’t mean to make light of the election because I feel it is an important decision that will affect my future and quality of life. Yet, I’m surprised at the actions of people during this time. I saw this during the year that Barack Obama was first elected. I’m shocked by how people react to each other on social media. I think it is okay to feel strongly in your convictions but be aware that others may feel the same way about theirs. I do not understand why there is a breakdown in respect when it comes to this.

I think we can take this opportunity to teach our students a lot of things about tolerance. This includes tolerance about politics, race, finances and many other things that people feel strongly about.

1.     Ask questions. We need to keep asking questions until we are clear with the answer. There is nothing wrong with asking questions. Do not let others mock you for not understanding or wanting clarification.

2.     Be civil. We can have different opinions but still be civil. I see people who are intolerant of those who differ in opinion which can lead to violence. There is absolutely no excuse for resorting to violence when others do not agree with you. If we all agree about the same things, there would be no impetus to change for the better.

3.     Avoid name calling. When we start to use name calling, it only shows people that you have no logical evidence to back up your argument. This is childish and will not convince others to see your way.

4.     Sharing opinions. No one should ever be afraid to share an opinion even if it is not the popular opinion. We should not make others afraid to voice their opinion and should be respectful enough to allow others to have a differing opinion.

5.     Check the facts. When people are running for office, they tend to exaggerate or stretch the truth in many ways. Don’t believe anyone if you have doubts. Check the facts for yourself.

6.     Respect others. No matter how we feel, we should never react to other people’s opinions disrespectfully. If we do, then we need to look at our own actions and not the other person’s.

What other lessons do you think our students can learn during controversial times? Please share.