Students feel a lot of jealousy towards their peers. They feel that the other students have it easier or better than they have it. Some might feel the teacher is showing favoritism and not being fair. What students don’t realize is that being fair doesn’t always mean being equal. I try to explain that it is like people who are shopping in a grocery store. Each person has different and unique nutritional needs. If each person had the same amount of money, they would buy different things according to needs and preferences. Having a teacher is like money, but students have different educational needs. This analogy helps students realize that they may learn differently from their peers and that is okay if they do.
I’ve had parents who were jealous of other parents. They would contact me telling me that they heard that other parents got some help that they didn’t. The only way I could handle this was by refusing to talk about other students and their parents. I would be glad to talk about the student whose parents I was talking to but no other students. I would be happy to discuss their child’s particular needs but no other student’s needs. When parents saw I was adamant about this and was consistent every time they talked to me, this no longer became an issue.
I also see a lot of jealousy between teachers. Some teachers feel like the administration is showing favoritism to other teachers. Some departments feel like other departments get more things than they ask for. When I became a department chair and attending department chair meetings, I learned how the administration works hard to be fair when making decisions. What many teachers don’t realize is that some decisions have to be made that will benefit the most people. Even though giving a teacher something they want, it doesn’t mean that is the best use of taxpayer’s money and support. I learned that the best way to get something I want is to get other teachers on board and work together to show that this will benefit a large group of students. The more students it will benefit, the better. This request had a higher likelihood of getting approved.
I also worked hard on my own time to connect with my student’s parents or caregivers. I kept in regular contact with them by phone and email. As a result, they were very supportive of me in the classroom and when there was a behavior issue, we were able to work together to correct it. I wrote very few behavior referrals to administrators because of this and my students were successful in my class. Unfortunately, this did not always happen in other classes that my students took. When we had a parent conference, the parents would bring this up and request that other teachers improve their communication with the parents. Later, outside of the conference, I would have teachers upset with me. I was told that I made them look bad and I needed to stop what I was doing. My actions were a personal decision for me and they worked for my classroom management so I was not going to stop them just because another teacher was jealous that the parent praised our communication together.
How do you handle jealousy in the school environment? Please share.
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