Being Unsure

In The opposite of confidence from Seth Godin's Blog, Seth Godin states,

“Being unsure can be healthy. It can help us focus on how we can make our work more likely to become the contribution we seek.”

When I am unsure, I work harder to find facts that helps me become more confident.

As a teacher, I can be confident that I will work towards finding the key to helping my students become successful but I’m not confident that my students will be successful. I can’t guarantee that because that is up to the student.

That is why I need to make sure that I arm myself with as many tools as I can find to help my student. Since my students may all have different needs, there is no one tool that will work for everyone. This means that my tool arsenal needs to varied and abundant. Sometimes the same tool will not work for the same student because the circumstances are different.

It is also important that my students see and understand that I’m unsure about what will work for them. They need to see how to look for resources that will work and not be afraid to try different ones. They need to understand that just because a tool doesn’t work for them does not spell out failure. It just means that this specific tool was not the right one to get the job done.

By modeling this for my students, I can help them to learn how to do research and look for new tools. This is an important skill to learn because I won’t always be able to help them after they leave my class.

I’m reminded of this when I see a former student, who was diagnosed with autism, learn new skills, and become more and more independent over the years. We are friends on Facebook so I can see when she tries something new and is successful. I feel like I’m in the cheerleader section cheering her on! I hope that the things she learned in my classroom have enabled her to continue her personal growth over the many years since she graduated from my class.

I also hope that there are many other students who I don’t have any contact with who continue to learn new skills that help them become more confident in their lives. I hope these skills help them be more successful in their careers and in their relationships with others.

How do you help your students when they are unsure? Please share.

Photo by frank mckenna on Unsplash

Fake It Until You Make It

In What if you pretended, just for a little while… from Seth Godin's Blog by Seth Godin states,

“It’s entirely possible that acting as if would actually create the very outcome you’re hoping for.”

When I first became a volunteer at the state park to lead second graders around the lake, I was nervous. I was afraid that I would mess up. After giving myself a pep talk, I decided that since no one in the group knew that I was new at this, I would act as if I wasn’t. I acted like I had experience and knew what I was doing. My stomach was doing flip flops all through the hike, but I believe everyone had a great time and I didn’t mess up. By acting as if it was all going to be fine, my mental attitude helped me achieve my outcome.

Recently I learned how to use my sewing machine because my friends came over to help me learn how to sew a skirt. Then I decided to make a top all by myself. I had to ask myself what was the worst thing that could happen. No one knew I was doing this so all I would do is waste time and material. So, I told myself that I could do this and if I needed to, I could always go to my friends for help. After a few hours, I had a new top and it looked great. It wasn’t perfect but I made it all by myself.

When I get before a group of my peers to give a presentation, I always get so nervous. I’m nervous because I don’t want to mess up, I want people to like my presentation and I want people to feel like they haven’t wasted their time by being there. I know that fear and lack of confidence can really ruin a presentation, so I act like I’m brave and confident. Usually, within a few minutes, I don’t have to act this way because I actually feel this way.

I believe this is a skill that I need to teach my students. I know that athletes sometimes use this “positive visualization” in order to picture themselves achieving their goals. This would be great for students to picture also but I don’t think this is enough. I think that students need to be actively believing that they can do it while they are working towards that goal. Believing is just not enough. By taking action, you are making belief more real and this makes the goal more possible.

When have you had to fake it until make it? Please share.

Photo by Steven Libralon on Unsplash

Old Dog

In I'm an Old Dog...from Sioux's Page, Sioux asks,

“Do you consider yourself an old dog or a new one? What sort of things are you trying or planning on trying soon?”

I always thought I was more of a new dog and willing to try new technology and strategies. I usually tried to buy the new stuff out there and was one of the first ones to get them when they hit the market.

This past year I notice that I’m turning more into an old dog.

Finances are more of an issue now than in the past so I tend to be more watchful of the things I buy. I struggle over whether the use of something is cost efficient or not. Since I only work part time now instead of full time, I don’t always have the resources to buy things without willing to risk the outcomes.

I also have had more failures this year than in the past. I’ve bought a few things that I haven’t been able to get to work so I’m more cautious. We bought some security cameras that I’m supposed to be able to connect by wifi and see when we are not at home. But I haven’t been able to get them to work and finally gave up. I know it is user error but the instructions are in a foreign language and there is no tech support.

I have had some technical issues with our computers that I have been unable to sort out and we have limped along this past year. My laptop has had to be restored twice and I don’t know what happened so I can’t keep it from happening again. My hubby’s computer (my old hand me down) is awfully slow and won’t update. I hold my breath every time we have to restart his and pray it will start again. This difficulty has made me more unsure of my ability to do things and now I’m almost afraid to try new stuff.

This reminds me of a time when I was a younger hiker. I was willing to go long distances and never feared that something could happen. Now that I’m older (and thinking I’m much more wiser), I don’t want to go too far, think about what could happen, and fear that I could fall and break some bones. This is limiting my hiking adventures and I hope this upcoming year and I can reverse this trend.

I wish I could regain my confidence and bravery. I was willing to try new stuff and didn’t ever think that I couldn’t do something. I need to change my attitude and get back to being more of a new dog!!

What are you? Are you an old dog or new dog? Please share.

Image: 'DockDog'
http://www.flickr.com/photos/81881849@N00/14629524174
Found on flickrcc.net

Toot Your Own Horn

In Jealousy or Revelry? From Sioux's Page, Sioux states,

“So the next time you look a little green-with-envy, think of how you can bask in that warmth, too.”

When I read this this post, it made me think about the times that I have done something good or rewarding and I’ve been hesitant to talk about it in fear of bragging or making others feel bad. In fact, I had a friend mention that I just liked attention and that I was a too boastful.

I am afraid that society has made people afraid to feel good about their actions. It seems like not only should we not talk about our own actions but we don’t praise the good that we see others do. Look at the news. Everything is negative and there are very few times we see the good in people. The few positive stores that are mentioned and people act bored or not interested. Bad news sells and good news doesn’t.

Many administrators are too busy putting our fires (dealing with problems) to adequately praise the teachers who are doing exceptional things. I think it is important for teachers to let their administrators know when they do something good. In fact, the good administrators appreciate it because it is refreshing to hear something positive.

There is nothing wrong with tooting your own horn. It is okay to feel proud of yourself and it helps your confidence and self-esteem. By doing so, you are being a great role model for your students. You can show them an appropriate way of sharing your good news without putting others down.

The ones who make you feel bad are the ones who wish they had something to brag about. When they say things to make you feel embarrassed rather than being supportive, it is time to confront them about their own actions rather than retreating back.

If you hear someone else tooting their own horn, help them share in the joy. Support their victories and make sure your words aren’t tearing them down. Be a good friend/colleague and help them shine. You can do this by telling them how proud you are of them or sharing their news with others (especially administrators who might be interested in this).

Do you toot your own horn? How do you do this? Please share.

Image: 'Royal Marine Playing The Last Post in+Afghanistan'
http://www.flickr.com/photos/48399297@N04/8338771610
Found on flickrcc.net

The Layers of “Me”

In Like the Layers of an Onion, So Are the Facets of Our Lives

from Sioux's Page, Sioux did a writing activity with middle school students about how we are made of many layers. Then she asks,

“What do people think when they see you? When strangers see you on the street, when someone hears you read your writing out loud but has never met you, what impressions do they form? What kind of "mask" do you wear, and what lies under the surface?”

I am going to try to be really honest here and even while saying that, I am having a hard time.

I start each day with a happy greeting on Facebook, Plurk, and Twitter. Everyone who “knows” me this way believes that I’m an optimistic, outgoing person. I think I’m very optimistic but I have “trained” myself to choose to be that way. My attitude is affected by how I choose to be. This cheery beginning always makes me feel good about the day, my world, and even myself.

When I meet people for the first time, it is really hard for me. It is hard for me to put a smile on my face and act natural as if meeting them is nothing out of the ordinary. At the same time my mind is berating myself for putting me in this position. I guess it is part of the “fight or flight” response and I so want to run and hide. I’m very nervous and sometimes talk too much because I’m so nervous.

Just recently I was invited to 2 group chats on Google + chats and I had to practically make myself join them. I was terrified. I actually clicked on the link to one and then closed it out. After giving myself a pep talk, I finally joined again and enjoyed myself. The next one was a little easier but I was still scared.
I love meeting my online friends in person when we travel around the country. I look forward to meeting them and talk about them all the time. Then when the time comes to meet them, after arranging a place, date, and time, I want to kick myself for doing this. What was I thinking?! But then I meet the person or people and I’m so glad I did. I wish I was more comfortable talking to people.

I have a lot of acquaintances but very few close friends. Over the years I have been hurt by my so-called “friends” that I tend not to get to close to many people. I’m lucky enough to have my husband as my best friend and sometimes that is enough. I have three friends that have been my friends for about 30 years and I consider myself lucky to have them in my life.

At the same time, I have no patience for overbearing opinionated people who have no sense of humor. If I feel that I have come in contact with this kind of person, I tend to tune them out and distance myself from them. I want no part of them socially or professionally.

I have many different interests and tend to jump from one hobby to another every few years. I love learning new things. Sometimes I’m not very good at one thing but I enjoyed it while I was doing it.

My life is very simple and so are my wants and needs. I am quite happy with my life so I guess you would label me as content.

I think those are the layers of me. What are your layers like? Please share.

Image: 'spacehog:in the meantime'
http://www.flickr.com/photos/41754875@N00/1377369881

Swimming in the Deep End

In You Can’t Be a Lurker in My Class from Ideas and Thoughts from an EdTech,  Dean Shareski talks about the lurkers in his online class,

“I wonder if I’m missing something. Maybe I need to structure things differently in order to accommodate the lurker? But if it means an isolated learning environment where good thinking happens behind closed doors, I don't think I can do that. I know many people using all types of online spaces consider themselves lurkers and I don't have a problem with that and yet I do when it comes to my courses.”


I used to be a lurker. I was content to sit in the background and hear everyone else talk, give their opinions, and I was willing to soak up all the knowledge swirling around my head. I didn’t have the confidence to join in the conversations.

But as I tried to expand my horizons, little by little, I started joining in. I started commenting on blogs or leaving a comment on twitter. This was a scary time for me and I really didn’t know what to expect. No one was there to show me how this was all done. No one was there to encourage me. But I was curious and willing to put on a brave front to give it a try. Then people started to respond back to me. Eventually I started skyping with people and even meeting them in real life. Slowly I started to find my own voice! Now I am willing to share my thoughts and opinions with confidence.

I’m not sure I could force my students not to be lurkers. Joining in the conversation is kind of like learning to swim. If they are anything like my husband, when using force, they will surely dig their feet in and refuse to budge. I think it is important for me to make the environment safe and welcoming for students to dip their feet in the water. As they gain small successes, they will be willing to go a little deeper each time. Just like me, with each success, their confidence will build until they suddenly find themselves swimming in the deep water. Eventually the deep water won’t be scary for them and they will jump in the deep end of a pool without even thinking twice. Joining in the conversations will seem natural and exciting.

If expectations are given about the class and how participation is necessary in order to pass the class, maybe students who are enrolled hope that this is the kind of class to get them out of lurking. Many people who take public speaking courses are the ones who are terrified about speaking in public. They don’t want the instructor to accommodate their fears and say, “Okay, you are afraid of speaking in public so you can just write a paper.” The same may be true about students who take an online class. They hope this is the nudge they need to move them out of their comfort zone.

What do you think? Are you a lurker? Do you think teachers should accommodate the lurkers in the classroom? Please share.

Image: 'Deep Blue #2'
http://www.flickr.com/photos/8291053@N08/3060351314

Driving out the Darkness

(Today’s post is for the letter D in the A-Z challenge.)
I believe that teaching my students how to learn is helping them drive away the darkness.
Many of my high school students were beaten down and frustrated by the time they got to me. I always felt like they believed they were in the land of darkness without any light. Many of them had extremely low self concepts and were biding their time until they were of age to quit school. They saw no reason to even try any more. Many of my students were objects of ridicule by their peers and were often bullied. Even some of their parents felt their children were just lazy or plain stupid.
That is why I introduced the class motto: I am a born winner! I felt that every person is born with a purpose and God doesn’t plan on them being losers. I asked every student to write that on their papers they turned in. I asked them to say that sentence aloud when asked. The class repeated it over and over again. It was time to turn their perceptions around. I needed them to start to believe it.
I started giving them work that was not baby work but I knew that they could be successful at. This built up their confidence levels. The more they were able to do, I slowly increased the difficulty. At times they wanted to slide back into self defeat but I wouldn’t let them. I pushed them over and over again. Slowly they began to realize how capable they were.
When we began to study a novel that students in the general classes were studying, they were amazed at what they could do. Of course, we read the novel together slower than they did in other classes but the discussions were very similar. My students were able to participate in some of the conversations at lunch that mentioned this novel. Suddenly they were on the same playing field as their peers.
Slowly my students began to stand straighter and hold their heads up higher. Slowly they realized that they were capable of so much more than others expected. Slowly they stopped allowing others to bully them and stood up for themselves. Slowly they began to see the light at the end of the tunnel and darkness was receding.
Suddenly they began to believe!
Many times over the past few years, I have come across former students who still remember our class motto. Some of them showed me that they have written it down and even still carry it in their wallets today. Some have even mentioned how it has helped them through difficult times of their adulthood. I’m so proud of them!
Do you have a class motto? If so, please share.
Image: 'Tunnel View... [Explored]'
http://www.flickr.com/photos/41346951@N05/5481225210

Anything is Possible

In Make them do the impossible… from Blogush, Paul Bogush states,

“There is an increasing amount of chatter on the internet about the value of letting kids make mistakes, letting them fail, allowing them to be wrong…throw into the conversation a giant heap of how to get them to unleash their creativity…of course the two are interconnected.  How do you get them to stop being afraid, so that they take a risk, not fear failure, and allow their creative juices to flow?

Make them do the impossible.

Seriously…the impossible.  Something that has never been done before.”

Many times my students refuse to try or act up in class because they are afraid to fail.

It is really hard to get them to try because they feel everything is impossible.

While I understand that we need to encourage our students to try and do the impossible, I am afraid if I tell them it is impossible, they will fail. It is the self-fulfilling prophesy. If they think it is impossible, they will not see that it is possible to succeed. When faces with something hard, they immediately shut down if they think it is impossible.

Instead I want my students to do the possible. They may not know it is possible at the time but I want them to think that anything is possible.

Sometimes when they are trying for something possible, they may end up going in a different direction or getting to their destination a different way. When thinking that anything is possible, I feel it opens up more opportunities for success. It helps my students face an obstacle with an open mind.

Sometimes we brain storm about what is the worst thing that could happen. Many times they bring up that fact that they could fail. Then others mention that it wouldn’t be the first time they failed at something so actually that isn’t the worst thing that could happen. By bringing out these feelings in the open, the unknown doesn’t seem as scary. Sometimes the students end up encouraging and giving emotional support to the other person.

I want them to think that anything is possible if we can find the key to solving the problem. But we can’t find the key if we just give up. The more the students succeed, the more confidence they have facing the next obstacle they come across. As they accomplish more and more, they suddenly realize that anything is truly possible.

How do you encourage your students? Please share!

Image: '(im)possible - 282/365'
http://www.flickr.com/photos/18271014@N00/3842815564