Teaching Kindness

(Now that summer is here, it is time for me to discuss different educational topics alphabetically. Please join in the conversation and tell me what you think!)

I don’t believe that students automatically know how to be kind to others. They have to learn this and over time, it will become a habit.

Here are some tips on how to teach students to be kind:

• Model kindness yourself. This is the most important thing you can do to teach kindness to your students. Be sure to use kind words and actions in your interactions with them, as well as with other adults and children.
• Talk about kindness. Have conversations with your students about what kindness means, why it's important, and how they can show kindness in their own lives. Use books, videos, and other resources to help them learn about kindness.
• Create opportunities for kindness. Plan activities and projects that give your students a chance to practice kindness. This could involve working together on a group project, helping out a classmate who's struggling, or doing a random act of kindness for someone in the community.
• Reward kindness. When you see your students being kind, be sure to praise them for their actions. This will help them understand that kindness is valued and appreciated.
• Celebrate kindness. Take time to celebrate the acts of kindness that happen in your classroom or school. This could involve creating a kindness wall, giving out kindness awards, or simply acknowledging kind acts during class meetings.

Here are some specific activities you can do to teach kindness in the classroom:

• Have students create a kindness contract. This could involve listing specific acts of kindness that students will commit to doing each day or week.
• Play kindness games. There are many different kindness games that you can play in the classroom. These games can help students learn about kindness and practice being kind to each other.
• Read books about kindness. There are many great books about kindness that you can read to your students. These books can help them learn about the importance of kindness and see how it can make a difference in the world.
• Start a kindness club. This is a great way to get students involved in promoting kindness in your school. The kindness club could plan activities, create projects, and spread kindness throughout the school community.

Teaching kindness to students is an important part of creating a positive and supportive learning environment. By following these tips, you can help your students learn the importance of kindness and how to show kindness in their own lives. This is a skill that will help them be more successful in the classroom and in life. 

Do you teach Kindness? If so, please share. 

Acts of Kindness

In Small Acts of Kindness Can Have Big Impacts on Recipients, Study Finds “Performing random acts of kindness increases happiness in both givers and receivers, but we find that givers systematically undervalue their positive impact on recipients.”

People don’t realize how much they can do for others, even people they don’t know. A random act of kindness can be for someone you don’t know or even someone you do know.

It makes both the giver and the receiver feel good.

When I talk to elderly people who are in need of help, I find that many are reluctant to ask for help. They feel that it makes them look weak or needy and they don’t like feeling that way. Many times, after I explain that they would actually be helping the person giving help, they are more willing to accept help.

Many of my students with special needs know what it is like to be on the receiving end of getting help. Some receive academic help and others may get even more personal help outside of academics.

When I first brought up the idea of doing service projects where the class helps others, they seemed surprised. They never thought that they had the ability to help others. We started with small projects and students were excited about them.

One year, we made flag pins that I gave out at a Veteran’s Day ceremony to veterans who attended. They were happy to hear that young students recognized them and were thankful for the pin. I took pictures of the veterans who took the pins and shared them with my students.

Once, we made thank you notes to give to the staff at the school that tends to be unnoticed such as the lunch room ladies and custodians. They were surprised by the notes and happy to get them.

Students learned that a random act of kindness didn’t have to involve money. It could be a kind word or doing something nice for someone at any moment. One student saw a teacher struggling with some materials and offered to help her. Another student saw some trash and picked it up. Some students would look for another student who seemed quiet or withdrawn and asks them if they were okay. If new students were sitting by themselves at lunch, my students would go sit with that person.

There are so many ways that people can do a random act of kindness and it doesn’t have to be on any specific day. Maybe when a person is the receiver of this act, they will pass it on to someone else. The world will be a better place.

What random acts of kindness would you suggest? Please share. 

Kindness and Compassion

During this holiday season, many people want to spend this time celebrating with family and friends. Social media and TV show excitement and happiness.

Yet, we need to remember those who find this time stressful and may be dealing with sadness from losing loved ones. This holiday may not be happy for everyone.

During this time, if you come across someone who is abrupt or may even seem angry, please be kind. Show compassion even if you don’t feel like it. It might make a difference to someone who needs your kindness right now.

Kindness

I write about this often because I don’t think there is enough kindness in the world. Being kind does not cost anything and it can mean a lot to someone in ways we don’t know about.

I can smile at someone and it might bring happiness to them.

I can compliment someone and it will brighten their day.

Holding a door open for someone is a nice thing to do.

Helping someone pick up something is a kind thing to do.

Picking up trash is kind to the world.

Giving up my seat for an older person is kindness.

Offering to throw away someone’s trash after eating is nice.

Helping an elderly person change lightbulbs in their house or taking their trash can to the street are welcomed kindnesses.

Offering to shovel snow off a driveway is very kind.

Raking leaves or doing weeding for someone is kind.

There are many other ways to show kindness and having students brainstorm other ideas may bring up things that you haven’t even thought of doing.

What other ideas would you suggest? Please share.

Photo by Mei-Ling Mirow on Unsplash

One Good Thing

This past Sunday, I was the Sunday School leader and had to lead the group in exploring how God can use the smallest gift dedicated to God’s service to make a big impact in the world. I think the questions in the lesson would be a great discussion to have with students.

The lesson starts with an article, Heart Lady Uses Art to Spread a Little Love Around. It talks about the artist Deirdre Freeman who makes vibrant paper hearts with messages of love and encouragement on trees and telephone poles. Some of these have stayed up for months. Another artist, Kristina Libby creates large floral heart wreaths and places them around the city. These give people a way to grieve, pray, and heal.

The Associated Press shared over 200 stories of people who have given of themselves. The series was called One G

In 200 stories over this pandemic-ridden year, The Associated Press has celebrated selfless people who have given of themselves in trying times. The series call “One Good Thing” was great to read.

Here are some examples.

“The 79-year-old widow battling Stage 4 cancer had planted hundreds of tulips along a road in Spanish Fork, Utah.

Tammi Truax, the Portsmouth, New Hampshire, poet laureate who writes weekly pandemic verses for her community newsletter.

Emiliano Moscoso, a restaurateur delivering meals to poor families in the Colombian capital of Bogota, among them Venezuelan refugees, Moscoso said he closed out 2020 with a little over 40,000 meals delivered.

Bonnie Matthews’ 6-year-old son Chip got a birthday gift of $2 from mail carrier Tawanna Purter after the two struck up an unlikely pandemic friendship.

Former Colorado Rockies and Pittsburgh Pirates manager Clint Hurdle was overjoyed by the response to April’s story on the daily notes of inspiration, encouragement and wisdom he was sending to some 5,000 subscribers.

There was the Texas principal whose school runs a free store providing food and goods to the community”

Now the lesson asked some questions that I thought I’d answer here.

1. What is the impact of small gestures done by others in your life? (I try to pass it on when a stranger does a kindness to me.)

2. How are we changed as individuals when we use our talents for the benefit of others, expecting nothing in return?

3. When, if ever, have you seen God use a person whose gifts were not particularly remarkable to accomplish amazing things? What does that suggest about how God work? (Years ago, I had to place some students with intellectual disabilities in an internship. I worried that they wouldn’t have a lot to offer and that the employer might call me to remove them from this placement. Within two weeks, I heard reports about how much joy these two students gave to the residents in this nursing home. It humbled me to realize that everyone has a gift to share.)

4. Robert Brault said, “Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” What are some “little things” that you didn’t necessarily appreciate at the time, that you now realize were really important in your life? ( I look back at the many sacrifices my parents made for me that I didn’t appreciate at the time. Now when I look back and realize that we didn’t have a lot of money and no health insurance so my parents sacrificed a lot of things they wanted so that their children would have what they wanted.)

How would you answer these questions? Please share.

Kindness

In Three types of kindness from Seth Godin's Blog, Seth Godin states,

“Kindness multiplies and it enables possibility. When we’re of service to people, we have the chance to make things better.”

During these stressful times, it is really hard to be kind. Many people are extremely focused on their own health and safety or their family’s health and safety. It feels like a free-for-all where everyone is only watching out for themselves and not caring about anyone else.

I’m trying to be more mindful about being kind to others. I look at what people are wearing and if I see something I like on someone, I compliment them on it. I love seeing the surprise in their eyes when a complete stranger says something nice to them. With their warm thanks, I feel like I made someone smile today.

If a salesclerk is annoying me or makes me feel irritated, I try to stop and be kind. I wonder if they have had a bad day or if they experienced a disappointment. I remind myself that I have had bad days and I need to let it go. To give this person some leeway is kindness. I don’t want to add more to their stress by having a nasty altercation.

I look around when I’m shopping and I try to be aware of the people around me. If a person in a handicapped cart, they might have trouble reaching for things on the shelf and I offer to help. If I see an elderly person struggling to put something big or heavy in their cart, I offer to help. One time an elderly man asked me to read the directions on a box because he left his glasses at home.

It only takes a few moments to be kind to someone and that can make you feel good about your actions. When you are feeling good, you make better choices. When you make better choices, you are making the world a better place.

In what ways do you show kindness? Please share. 

Photo by Randalyn Hill on Unsplash

Kindness

In Three Myths About Kindness from @DavidGeurin Blog, he asks,

“How has someone shown kindness to you?

I have been blessed with many acts of kindness over the years.

I want to share some of the kind acts that were given to us this year.

The VA showed extreme kindness by helping us deal with my father’s death. The Fisher House did not have to extend their hospitality to us but they did.

Recently we joined a local senior center and this nice person invited us to dinner with her and her husband and friends. It was a fun time, and it was so nice to be welcomed.

When my father was sick, our good friends sent him flowers. It was such a thoughtful and kind thing to do.

When my father passed away, our good friends had dinner sent to us even though they were 700 miles away!

When we had to go home and leave my father in the hospital, my cousins jumped in and stayed with him while we were gone.

Kindness is more than just being nice. I believe it is the act of going beyond nice. I don’t believe people are born with this ability to be kind and it must be taught.

One way to teach this in the classroom is to have class discussions about kindness. Have students give examples of kindness. Then ask them to explain why it was considered a kindness.

Another way is to role-play. Give scenarios where they have to decide how to perform an act of kindness. Let different students show different ways if they know of other ways a person could show kindness for this scene.

Give a scenario and give two examples of actions – one showing kindness and one not. Ask the students to tell which one showed kindness.

Do you teach students how to be kind? What activities do you do? Please share.

Photo by Sandrachile . on Unsplash

Am I Kind?

In 7 Questions to Reflect on Kindness from @DavidGeurin Blog, David Geurin asks,

“What are other ways you can think of to show kindness?”

Last week my father was admitted to a VA Hospice Facility in Riviera Beach, Florida. From the minute he was headed to the facility, there were unlimited kindnesses shown to us.

As we traveled a long distance to be with my father on the day my stepmom died, I was notified that they would be admitting him to this facility. Soon after that, Dr. Miller called to talk with me and let me know he was coming. She told me things and asked if I had any questions. I thought it was so kind that she would talk to me even before he arrived!

When we got to the facility, we were shown to my father’s room. We met the nurses who were cheerful and welcoming. We met the doctors, the social worker, and the chaplain also. Everyone seemed to care so much about my father and even us. It has a family atmosphere. I found their attitude that my father’s happiness was a priority to them very comforting.

On the morning after he arrived, they had a small ceremony where they presented my father with a certificate of appreciation, a pin, and a flag as a thank you for his service. It brought a big smile to his face!

One afternoon, we wheeled my father around the buildings in his wheelchair so he could explore areas. We found a recreation room where they have scheduled activities every day. The recreation therapist was so accommodating and brought my father a newspaper and a deck of cards.

When my father received some VA paperwork in the mail, the social worker said she would help take care of the paperwork for him. I thought this was so kind instead of just telling me how to figure it out! The social worker even helped us arrange for accommodations while we were there to see about my dad.

When we had to fill out tons of paperwork for my stepmom’s cremation, the funeral director said that she could email the forms to me and then I can get my dad to sign them. Once they were signed, I could take them to her. The only problem is that I received the email but had no printer. The wonderful chaplain let me forward the email to her and she printed off the pages so we could have my dad sign them and take care of the arrangements.

Every nurse who has helped care for my dad has been smiling and so upbeat. They seem to love their job and the patients they care for and you can tell that they are true to heart and not just doing this as an act.

We have met only kindness from so many strangers and it truly warms my heart.

Yet, as I look at these kindnesses, I start to look at myself and ask myself, “Am I kind enough?”

Do I show others this unconditional kindness that has been shown to me?

Have I stopped to take the time and see how I can help others before they have to ask for help?

Do I see a need that others may have but are afraid or don’t even know that they can ask for help?

I know that now I will be doing a better job of looking for ways to be kinder to others. I think this is something that you need to make an effort to do. I’m not sure that I’m as kind as I thought I was.

Thank you so much to the VA Hospice Facility in Riviera Beach! Y’all are awesome!

How have you shown kindness to others lately? Please share.

Original photo by Pat Hensley

A Simple Act of Kindness

In Teen ate lunch alone for years, then the student council stepped in, a student was seen sitting alone, and then members of the student council invited them to sit with them. What a simple act of kindness! No faculty or parent was involved and students did this on their own. But I don’t believe this would have happened if those kind students hadn’t been taught that kindness is important at some point in their lives.

Let’s face it, teenagers can be mean. It is hard to stand up to your peers and by inviting someone to join your group is one way of standing up to your peers. It took courage for them to do this and I’m so proud of these students who I don’t even know.

I’m also proud of someone writing this article about this kindness. Too often we hear the negative stories about teens and how they are angry, violent, and commit crimes. I guess the news media feels that those are the stories that make money. I’ve stopped reading the negative articles. When I find the positive articles, I try to leave positive comments when possible. Media needs to be encouraged to write good things.

When I find news stories like this, I like to share them with students. I want them to see that I am giving a lot of attention to the positive actions of students.

When the shootings of the mosque in New Zealand happened, the prime minister has refused to use the shooter’s name. She will not give him notoriety for his actions. I applaud this person’s willingness to do this. As more and more leaders and media continue this trend, I believe those who want to copycat crimes will be discouraged if they are doing it just to seek fame.

What positive news have you heard about young people lately? Please share. I believe many people would love to see these things!

Photo by Sandrachile . on Unsplash

The Big Love Challenge

“The BIG LOVE Challenge requires you to spread unconditional kindness, compassion and care for ten days to as many people as possible – not just family members, friends and those nice people you met on holiday. We mean everyone - even people not on your Christmas card list.”

and it is free!

“Every day for 10 days you’ll be sent a collection of novel suggestions, exercises and ideas. Some are simply attitudes to adopt, others are tasks to complete – but they’re all optional. You can choose as many (or none) of the ideas on a given day that you want - but like anything in life that requires some effort, you get from the exercise what you put in. Some ideas may involve a small monetary outlay, but most cost only your time. Towards the end of the challenge you'll also be presented with the opportunity to join an exciting group project.”

Read more about The Big Love Challenge here.

G is Gracious

According to Merriam and Webster, Gracious means “marked by kindness and courtesy; graceful; marked by tact and delicacy; merciful, compassionate.”

Students learn to be gracious by watching others. I don’t believe that this is something people are born with but learn from others.

Teaching in a class where students have different or multiple disabilities, the students have faced ridicule and teasing for most of their life. It is hard for them to see graciousness in many people.

I start the year by making this a kind of treasure hunt. I have them actively looking for examples where people are kind, courteous, merciful, or compassionate. We talk about all of these behaviors and ways that people can exhibit them. The can’t find them if they don’t know what they are looking for. By having them look for specific examples, it makes the students more observant and receptive to behaviors other than ridicule and teasing. It helps them see that not everyone is like that.

At the end of the first week, I ask for specific examples that they have found. Each person that can share at least 1 situation, receives a reward. The next week they have to find 2 situations and the next week 3 and the last week 4. By then they are actively looking for this and it makes it easier. Then I switch to once a month to make sure they are still looking and observing.

I have found that since graciousness is such a positive behavior, the students don’t react so much to the negative behavior to them because they are so intent on looking for the positive behaviors in people. Sometimes they even ask their family and friends to help them identify this and that extends this activity to others.

I have also found that the more they look at these behaviors, the more they start trying to be gracious to others. I start seeing my students mentioning the behaviors of those closer to them. This improves the self concept of others because they start seeing that other recognize their actions.

Eventually this observing and acting gracious starts becoming a habit and the behavior in the classroom and outside of the classroom improves.

How do you teach students how to be gracious? Please share. 

Being Kind

In Are You Carrying Rocks in Your Backpack? A Lesson in Mattering, from the #FoxHollowFlyers from  Angela Maiers, Speaker, Educator, Writer by Angela Maiers shares with us a lesson plan from Matthew Goff and it is awesome! One paragraph states,

“This turned into an amazing conversation around Mr. Browne’s famous precept from the book, Wonder: “When given the choice between being right and being kind, choose kind.”  We underestimate the need to choose to be kind when we are talking to or thinking about ourselves.”

I think we don’t teach our students how to be kind. We ask them to be kind and we expect them to be kind but do they really know what this means? Do we share the definition of kind and give them real life examples of what kindness is?

I don’t think this lesson is necessarily for a specific age group either. I think it needs to be discussed in elementary, middle, and high school. I think the more it is discussed, the more that students will think about their actions and how it affects others.

I think these would be some items for discussion:

1.     What is kindness? What is the definition of kindness?

2.     Give some examples of people being kind to others?

3.     Is it harder to be kind to someone you know or don’t know?

4.     Could some acts of kindness be misinterpreted as not being kind? If so, what are they?

5.     Give some specific situations and ask students what they would do to show kindness?

I think I need to have more moral conversations with my students. I don’t think it is up to me to expect one right answer but to help them think critically about different situations. Sometimes my students see things as having only a black or white answer when there may be different perspectives on the same situation. There may be some gray areas that could affect people in different ways.

Have you taught about kindness in your classroom? If so, please share.