Choosing Your Words

In Sorry/thanks from Seth Godin's Blog , Seth Godin states

“If you often find yourself saying “sorry” in a way that doesn’t advance the conversation, it might be interesting to substitute “thank you” instead.”

I thought of ways that this could be used in the classroom.

Instead of: I’m sorry some of you didn’t do your homework.
Substitute: Thank you to those of you who did the homework so they can get better at learning this skill.

Instead of: I’m sorry you can’t “do what you want.”
Substitute: Thank you for willing to take a risk and trying something new.

How you word something can make a big difference on how an assignment is perceived. It might make some people more willing to complete a task.

I’ve heard teachers even tell the class that they are going to learn something hard and it may be difficult. That already has some of the students prepared to not be successful.

Instead, I tell my students that they are going to learn something challenging and it is always fun to face a challenge. Luckily we are all there to support each other so we are not alone when we face these challenges. Challenges can be fun and exciting, especially when we are together with friends.

What a difference this can make when teaching a lesson. The students in my class tend to look forward to learning new things whereas the other class dreads this event.

As teachers, we need to choose our words carefully in order to help our students be successful in our classes and in life.

What do you say differently than others to help your students be successful? Please share.

Never Say Never

In How long is “never”? from Seth Godin's Blog Seth Godin shares,

“Some things actually deserve “never.” But most of what we’re worried about probably would be better categorized as “eventually.””

Never means not ever. To never do something means you won’t do this ever again on any occasion.

When I first learned to crochet, I said I would never learn to knit. A year later, I was knitting and have been ever since. At the time I learned to knit, I said I would never learn to spin yarn, and then I bought a drop spindle and learned to spin. I bought 3 drop spindles after that. At that time, I said I would never buy a spinning wheel. I now have three spinning wheels. I learned to stop saying the word never!

It is too easy to use the word Never and we really don’t mean it. When my kids were little, they would get mad and say they would never talk to me again, but they do. When I eat something that makes me gain weight, I say I will never eat that again, but I do.

Many times, my students have told me that they can never learn something. I try to get them to change their phrasing to – I haven’t learned how to do this…yet. Maybe it will take more time but if they want to learn something bad enough, I believe they can learn how to do something. This doesn’t mean they will stick with it forever, but they could learn how to do something eventually. Different people learn at different rates so they can’t compare themselves to someone else.

I put up a poster that has the phrase, “I haven’t learned how to do this…yet.” Whenever I hear a student say they can’t do something, they end it by saying they can never learn this. I stop them and point to the poster and have them repeat the new saying. It eventually becomes a game and even other students will join in when they hear someone say they never can learn something. Everyone stops and points to the poster. They like being the one who points to the poster and not the one who is having to say the statement. It takes a while but soon, most of the students stop saying the never word.

How do you break students from saying never? Please share.

Mood Choices

In Is mood a gift or a skill? From Seth Godin's Blog,  Seth Godin states,

“… we can do things to improve our mood. Morning pages, meditation, exercise, positive thinking, the right audio inputs, who we hang out with, the media we consume–it’s all a choice.”

I want to help my students choose to be in a good mood. When they are in a positive mood, they are more open to learning. They are open to opportunities that will make them more successful in class and in life.

Yet, many students arrive in class with a ton of baggage. They might have had an argument with their family members or friends. Maybe they are having relationship problems. They might be sleepy and cranky because they are not morning people. They may be anxious about class because they don’t feel confident in learning. There are many reasons why a student would be in a bad mood.

I spend a lot of time talking with my students about moods and attitudes. I explain to them that I can understand how they are feeling because many times I feel the same way. I could have the same kinds of arguments they do. I might be worried that the lessons I plan to teach might not go over well. I may be worried that the administration is planning to do a formal observation. I have worries and doubts too.

I explain how I try to overcome that. I tell my students that when I walk into my classroom and see them, it is like seeing sunshine come out on a rainy day. I tell them that just being with them makes me feel better. I try to leave all that emotional baggage out in the hall because I want to be an effective teacher for them. I want to help them be successful and that means a lot to me. I give this kind of talk often and I can see that it makes a difference for me and it makes a difference with them. I am choosing to think positively.

I like to do a short 5-minute meditation exercise if I think the students are too wired to learn. Sometimes this helps them relax and calm down.

Another thing I like to do is play soft music while they are working at their seats on individual work. If the sound bothers them, I let them wear earplugs or headsets/earbuds that aren’t connected to a device. For many, this relaxes them and gets them in a better mood.

If I think many students look sad, withdrawn, or depressed, I might get them out of their seats and do some moving activities. It is hard not to smile when you see everyone (including your teacher) acting silly.

I really think taking time to help students learn how to improve their moods is important. It will help them be more successful in the things they want to do.

How do you help students improve their moods? Please share.

Photo by Katie Drazdauskaite on Unsplash

Kindness

In Three types of kindness from Seth Godin's Blog, Seth Godin states,

“Kindness multiplies and it enables possibility. When we’re of service to people, we have the chance to make things better.”

During these stressful times, it is really hard to be kind. Many people are extremely focused on their own health and safety or their family’s health and safety. It feels like a free-for-all where everyone is only watching out for themselves and not caring about anyone else.

I’m trying to be more mindful about being kind to others. I look at what people are wearing and if I see something I like on someone, I compliment them on it. I love seeing the surprise in their eyes when a complete stranger says something nice to them. With their warm thanks, I feel like I made someone smile today.

If a salesclerk is annoying me or makes me feel irritated, I try to stop and be kind. I wonder if they have had a bad day or if they experienced a disappointment. I remind myself that I have had bad days and I need to let it go. To give this person some leeway is kindness. I don’t want to add more to their stress by having a nasty altercation.

I look around when I’m shopping and I try to be aware of the people around me. If a person in a handicapped cart, they might have trouble reaching for things on the shelf and I offer to help. If I see an elderly person struggling to put something big or heavy in their cart, I offer to help. One time an elderly man asked me to read the directions on a box because he left his glasses at home.

It only takes a few moments to be kind to someone and that can make you feel good about your actions. When you are feeling good, you make better choices. When you make better choices, you are making the world a better place.

In what ways do you show kindness? Please share. 

Photo by Randalyn Hill on Unsplash

Peace of Mind

In What gives you peace of mind? From Blue Skunk Blog, Doug Johnson shares what gives him peace of mind. He states,

“Increased anxiety seems to be a common symptom of the CORONA virus and the isolation many people feel because of it.”

This would be a good story prompt for students.

What gives you peace of mind?

I remind students many times that we can’t control what other people do or think but we can control our own actions and thoughts.

So, the things that give me peace of mind are the following things:

• I keep in touch with family and friends.
• I keep a prayer journal and I pray several times a day.
• I keep a bullet journal and try to be productive every day.
• I exercise regularly to stay healthy.
• I choose healthy things to eat.
• I avoid eating many things that I know are bad for me.
• I keep track of the foods I eat.
• I read every day.
• I pay my bills on time.
• I don’t spend more money than I have.
• I keep my house clean.
• I work on having positive thoughts.
• I look for the good in people instead of the negative things.
• I only watch the news on TV once a day.
• I encourage others as much as I can.

What gives you peace? Please share.

Photo by Colton Duke on Unsplash

Silver Linings

Recently during our Sunday School online meeting, we talked about focusing on some of the positive things that have happened due to Covid-19.

I love attending Sunday School on Zoom and Church services are available through Facebook Live. In the past, when we have traveled, I would just miss Sunday School and Church service but now I’m able to attend both.

One doctor talked about how he thought telehealth was here to stay and how it made life easier for many people who had difficulty leaving work and could confer with the doctor online.

I have been able to connect more with my knitting friends than I ever have. I attend weekly Zoom meetings with knitters from 2 different yarn shops. My knitting guild meets once a month on Zoom which means I don’t have to worry about driving somewhere at night and getting home late. I also attend a knitting retreat in Minnesota in June and the participants are able to meet online once or twice a week. Participants may come from all over the US and other countries.

I am able to attend many educational webinars to improve my teaching strategies. I’m impressed with how more and more webinars are becoming available and how comfortable I am with attending online webinars.

I have also attended environmental webinars through the SC Wildlife Federation. These webinars are recorded and offered free on YouTube. They are educational and informative for me personally and great to use in the classroom.

I love using the internet to stay connected, but many colleagues, friends and family were uncomfortable using technology, so this has really pushed many of them into learning how to incorporate it in their lives.

I believe students are more comfortable learning online now because they have had to learn this way. Teachers are learning how to teach online which can change the way that they teach. This is good because teachers can get stagnant teaching the same lessons in the same way over and over. Even after students attend school in person full time, I believe a lot of lessons learned by students and teachers will impact how and what is learned in the future.

I think it is important to teach students to look for positive outcomes during difficult times. Sometimes if we can change our perceptions, it helps us have better attitudes for coping with the current situation.

What silver linings have you found during this pandemic? Please share.

Photo by Billy Huynh on Unsplash

Positive Attitudes

In Attitudes are skills from Seth Godin's Blog, Seth Godin, 

“Once you realize that you can improve, amplify and refine the things that other people call attitudes, you may realize that they are skills.”

I think that people have the ability to develop better attitude skills. They can choose to have a positive attitude or a negative attitude. You are not born with this so it must be acquired. Attitude is closely connected to our perceptions. How we see things help us to improve our attitudes. Our attitudes can affect our work skills.

Negative attitudes can cause mistakes, imperfections, feelings of frustration and anger, and even lead to failure.

Positive attitudes open up possibilities. They give feelings of hope and anticipation of better things to come. It opens up options and can lead to success.

I thought I would list some positive attitudes that I thought I should help my students to develop.

1. I am capable of doing many things. 
2. It is good to work hard to achieve the things I want. 
3. It doesn’t hurt to try new things (as long as they aren’t illegal).  
4. I need to practice to get better at new things. 
5. It’s alright to make mistakes as long as I don’t keep repeating them. 
6. It is okay to ask for help. 
7.  It is good to help others. 
8. Teamwork can help hard things easier. 
9. Accepting criticism helps me to improve. 
10. It is okay to feel proud when I achieve something.

These are just ten things I would start with. I think it would be good to pick one for a lesson and open it up for discussion with the following questions:

• Why is this hard for some people? 
• How can I start to believe this? 
• How can I help others believe this?

What other positive attitudes would you add to the list? What other questions would you add to the discussion? Please share.

Photo by Miguel Bruna on Unsplash 

Bring Out the Best

In What brings out the best in you? From Seth Godin's Blog,  Seth Godin asks,

“Can you change your posture so that the situations you’re in a lot bring out your best instead of your worst?”

I’ve heard the cliché: “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” And I believe it is true.

I can wallow in a bad situation that I have no control over and whine about it until anyone around me can’t stand me. I can keep complaining about how bad my situation is and how miserable I am but none of that will help make my situation any better. In fact, it will make me, and others just feel worse.

During this virus, I have done a lot of gardening at home and usually, I complain that I never have enough time. My husband trimmed bushes and did some things that he needed to do.

When a tornado hit our Florida house, we had to hurry down there to fix the damage. Since we couldn’t go anywhere, we were able to make some repairs on our own. In addition to repairs, we were able to do some maintenance things that we normally put off until “we get around to it.” Of course, we are having so much fun doing other things that the opportunity never comes around.

I’m reading a lot more library books that I don’t usually take the time to do.

I’m making more phone calls to connect with family and friends that I don’t usually contact. It is good to know that they are doing okay.

I see that the amount of pollution in the air has decreased and a lot of wildlife has been able to exist in less dangerous environments. Loggerhead turtles are able to use the beaches more freely to lay their eggs without the danger of disturbance.

Many this virus has just given the world a pause in their regular routines and letting people see how they could live their lives more simply. People realize they can still do many things with a lot fewer resources and luxuries.

I hope I’m being kinder to people and their situations even if I don’t agree with their point of view. I hope that I’m appreciative of the many things people do to make my life more comfortable and that I let them know this. I hope I am taking the time to appreciate my loved one and my life the way it is.

How are you bringing out your best? Please share.

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Optimist or Pessimist

In The downside of possibility from Seth Godin's Blog, Seth Godin states,

“Optimists are always a little disappointed.”

I think I'm part optimist and part pessimist. I tend to look at the bad side of things, so I won't be too disappointed. Sometimes my husband calls me a naysayer, but I don't mean to be this way. Other times,  people look at me and think I'm an optimist and I'm always looking at the good side of things.

Sometimes I think you need to have a balance between both sides. I don't think you should be overly optimistic or overly pessimistic. Sometimes you need to be a realist. I think the most important thing is to accept whatever happens when it happens and be prepared to deal with it when it does.

I think it's okay to be an optimist because you are expecting things to be better and you strive to work harder. Looking forward and expecting the best is a good thing. Of course, it is natural to be disappointed if things don't work out the way you expect. The important thing is seeing what needs to be done in order to be successful and not giving up.

Being an optimist helps you have the right mental attitude for facing obstacles. It helps to keep you moving forward. This mental attitude will keep you from giving up and help you continue trying. That is the key to being successful. It is important not to give up and when things don't go the way you want, look at what needs to be changed in order for you to succeed. This might mean you need to ask for help or change your procedures or even change the tools you are using. Taking the time to reassess the situation is a good thing to do.

How do you help your students be more optimistic rather than pessimistic? Please share. 

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Looking Back or Forward

In Packing Up the Old... Headed to the New from Sioux's Page, Sioux Roslawski asks,

“Are you stuck in the past or are you plodding forward?”

I have to confess that I sometimes get stuck in the past. It is so easy to do things because that is the way I’ve always done things or that is the way it has always been done. It is easier to do things that way because I know what needs to be done and usually the outcome can be predicted.

Plodding forward involves risks. I may be trying something new that I don’t know how to do. This opens the possibility of mistakes or failure.

But the keyword is possibilities.

I don’t know what possibilities may occur for the positive as well as negative. So many more good things could happen that I’m unaware of. Opportunities may present itself that wasn’t an option by getting stuck in the past. I need to get past the fear of failure and look towards the future.

Moving forward can be a scary thing. When a child takes their first steps or a teenager gets behind the wheel of a car or leaves for college, these moments are scary!

Many of my students have experienced this firsthand and are not anxious to repeat the process. It is my job to help the students get past this feeling. I want to show them that in the past, they didn’t have my support and knowledge. They are not alone, and I will help them move forward by being with them. I will be their safety net. Even if mistakes happen, or they are not successful on the first try, it will not affect how I feel about them. I want my students to feel that we are in this together and there is safety in numbers.

How do you help your students leave the past and move forward? Please share.

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Coming In Second

In 2nd Place from Sioux's Page, Sioux Roslawski asks,

“How do you handle not making #1? Does missing top spot get you discouraged?

Or, does it make you dig your heels in and try even harder the next time?”

I really don’t mind coming in second place because I hate when the limelight is on me which would happen if I came in first.

I think I’ve always felt uncomfortable if someone calls me the best or if I win a competition. I have never liked to compete in competitive sports. I hated when I was young and had to be in a state accordion competition. I hated the pressure and expectations. I hate the worry about failure or embarrassing myself and my family. When I ran for public office, I hated those feelings and it was just as bad when I won the first term and lost the second term.

I once had a friend that told me that I like to show off and love to be the center of attention. That has stuck with me for many years and it really hurt my feelings. Now I feel very uncomfortable when I hear those words in the back of my head whenever I am doing something in front of people. I don’t want to be a showoff and now I constantly worry about what people may be thinking about me. These anxious moments will drive me crazy.

On the other hand, I resent these feelings and try to push myself through them. Why shouldn’t I be proud of my accomplishments? Why shouldn’t I try to be the best in what I want to compete at? Why is wanting to be the best wrong? Why do I let this one person’s words control my behavior?

When I accomplish something good, I have to remind myself that it is okay to feel proud of what I’ve done. It is okay to show off my accomplishments as long as it doesn’t put anyone else down. My husband is always telling me that it is okay to “toot my own horn” because others might now know about something if I don’t share it. He is my biggest cheerleader.

I wonder how many of my students feel the same way. How many of my students have let one person’s negative words shape their future? Why are negative words so much stronger than positive words?

How can I help my students get past these same feelings? The only way I know how to is by sharing my experience with them. Talking about them and discussing these feelings help bring them out in the open. Maybe by sharing and talking about them, the negative words will lose some of their power. Then we can work on replacing the negative statements with more positive statements.

How do you help students who come in second place? How do you help them overcome negative thoughts that shape their behavior? Please share.

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