“Four and a half years I lived
bullying. I cried every day after school when I made it to the respite of my
room at home. I often ask myself what I would have done if my bedroom weren’t
my solitude? What if I couldn’t get away? Even if bullying “goes away” the
scars don’t.”
I too remember many years of bullying,
especially in junior high. Being a minority student made me different. At that
age, students like to pick on the one who is different and I was the target. I
hated being different and I so wanted to be like everyone else. I just wanted
to blend and relax. It seems like every day I arrived at school on “high alert”
and didn’t relax until I got home. I couldn’t share the feelings of fear and
insecurity at home because my parents were proud of being Chinese and just
didn’t understand what I was going through. They both grew up in Chinese
communities so they were part of the majority then and didn’t realize how hard
it was to grow up as the minority in a school in the 60s.
I
remember thinking about how I wish the teachers would intervene. Of course,
they couldn’t intervene if I never told anyone that I was being bullied. Then
again, I always wondered how the teachers could not see that bullying was going
on. I knew if I told, the
consequences at the hands of the bullies were far worst then what I was already
suffering through. I knew that I hoped someday to be a teacher and help
students that would go through the same types of situations that I faced. Did they turn a blind eye because they thought
it would make me a stronger person? Or did they turn away because they didn’t
know how to address it?
I
know that today we talk about no tolerance for bullying. We try to teach our
children how to stand up to bullies and encourage them to stick up for others
who are being bullied. Administrators tell school personnel that bullying won’t
be tolerated. We watch videos on bullying and how it shouldn’t happen.
Bullies
are good at hiding their actions and teachers need to be more vigilant in
looking for situations. We need to take away opportunities for bullies to take
advantage of their weaker peers. We need to have a way for students to let
adults know whey they see bullying going on but feel helpless to act on another
person’s behalf. Students know sometimes better than adults when bullying is
happening so we need to encourage them to let us know about it. I remember
teachers telling students not to be a tattletale so I wonder if that is why no
one came forward when they saw bullying happening.
Do we really train our teachers enough on how to deal with bullying in their classrooms? Do we have specific procedures in place for what needs to be done when bullying happens? Or do teachers all deal with this in their own way for their own classrooms? Is their dialogue between teachers at general meetings on how situations should be dealt with? Some teachers may see certain situations as bullying where others don't. What procedures are teachers expected to follow when they feel bullying is happening.
I
try to encourage students to tell me when something is happening that can hurt
a student either physically or emotionally. I need to teach them there are
appropriate times to tell an adult about certain situations. Sometimes we might
get told more than we want but I would rather know more than to miss a chance
to stop a situation that involves a bully. As a person who was bullied, I would
have loved for a teacher to intervene just once on my behalf.
I
know there are policies against bullying but does your school have actual
procedures on dealing with bullying? Please share.
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