Uncomfortable conversations

Here is a question from the textbook that I use in my class.

“As a teacher, how would you talk to a student who comes to you with accounts of early sexual experience? What would you ask? What would you say, and how would you say it?”

I was very shocked and concerned by the answers from my students. This question doesn’t say how old the student is or what circumstances the student is in so the answers were quite different. Many wanted to sit down with the student and hear the story, Some wanted to tell the student that it was okay and they would not be judged. Some wanted to talk about birth control.

I want to share my response to all of these teachers:

NEVER have this discussion alone with a student! Always involve a guidance counselor or an administrator, who is specifically trained to deal with situations like this. This could be a situation involving abuse and you are not an investigator! Anytime a legal or medical issue is brought to light, you should always involve your administration. You may have strong feelings about this situation, but you are not trained to judge or give professional advice about any legal or medical issue.

I encourage any adult who finds themself in this situation to not put themselves in a position that could have disastrous results. There could be legal ramifications to dealing with this situation on your own. You don’t know if this is an abusive situation that must be reported or you would be breaking the law. You don’t know what the parents’ position on birth control may be and it is not your place to make this decision. You don’t know if this situation is causing any health issues that should be addressed.

I know as a teacher, you would feel honored that the student would feel comfortable talking to you about this uncomfortable situation. I know you would feel compassionate towards this student but I urge you to make the decision to protect yourself first. It is like flying in an airplane during a crisis. They say if the oxygen masks drop down, put them on yourself before putting one on your child. You are no help to anyone else if you don’t take care of yourself first.

How would you answer this question? Please share. 

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash