“I believe that sometimes it’s okay not to
stand up for yourself.”
This really struck home with me. We talk so much about
bullying and standing up to bullies that I think some students feel bad about
themselves if they don’t stand up to the bullies. But we need to let them know
that there are two options and not just that one. And the choice that works
best for them is the right choice.
Growing up, I was bullied pretty often. I hated it but the
school, the teachers, and my peers did nothing about it. I didn’t even do anything about it. I know
they all knew about it but nobody would acknowledge that it was happening so at
the time I wondered if I was just imagining things. Of course, after being
stuffed in a big locker a few times was proof that I wasn’t making this up. I
just let it go. That is how I survived. I decided that to stand up to the bully
was giving the bully too much importance. Maybe I was wrong and maybe I wasn’t.
I noticed that the bullies changed faces and wasn’t the same
one every time. If I stood up to one, I would have continued throughout my
school career standing up to all of them over and over. I didn’t have the
energy or the desire to spend my time doing that. I just wanted them to leave
me alone. So, for my peace of mind, I just let it go. Usually the bully tired
of messing with me and moved on to someone else. I think the bully was bored
with me and didn’t find any entertainment because I refused to respond.
Maybe others saw me as a coward or maybe they thought I was
crazy but as I said, it worked for me. I still got angry. I still got scared.
But I was determined not to give them power over me and make me respond on the
same level they did. Eventually all of them left me alone because I don’t think
my response was the one they expected.
As an adult, there are many times someone does something
that isn’t fair and I want to scream at them, but I just ignore them. I remind
myself that it is too much energy to waste on someone like that. Sometimes I do
stand up to them. But now I know that I have the ability to do either one. I
control my reactions and I can choose to let it go.
It would have been nice to hear someone support my decision
as a student. Now as I look back, I
really believe that I had made the right decision. By letting things go by
choice helped me become stronger in the face of future injustices.
How many students today feel the same way? How can I support
them? I feel the best way is to have discussions about it and sharing my story.
Let students know that they have a choice but they need to be in control of
their choices. I believe being in control of my own actions is more important
than standing up for myself.
What do you think? Do you think that students should be told
that they can choose to let it go? Please share.
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