“Constraints are a gift because they bring us something to lean against, and they give us the chance to focus on work we can actually do.”
One of the most challenging things for new teachers is to set boundaries for students. We really want our students to like us but they need a teacher more than they need a new friend.
Students need boundaries so that they know where they stand. They know what is expected of them and how far they can go. Of course, there will be many times when they push these boundaries but I think this is a way to see if the teacher is being fair and consistent.
If students push boundaries and the teacher doesn’t stand firm, then those boundaries don’t really exist. This means that the student doesn’t know when they are in danger, which can cause fear. Just like we wouldn’t let a toddler run out in the street, our students need to know that you won’t let them do something dangerous. They need to know that someone cares enough to stop them from going too far.
Often, students live in a chaotic world and the classroom is where they get structure and security. It is the boundaries that the teacher sets which make them feel safe.
So, even though the student may say they hate me or resent me, they know in their heart that I’m doing what is best for them. It is important for them to learn the boundaries so that they can eventually set them for themselves. How can they learn this if they never experience them?
How do you feel about boundaries? How do you set them? Please share.
Photo by Sylwia Bartyzel on Unsplash
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