Forgiveness is one of the things that I struggle with. I think because I’m not sure what forgiveness actually is. I’ve heard people say that they could forgive but not forget. Does forgiveness mean that you continue to let the other person hurt you? If I avoid this person in the future, does that mean that I really don’t forgive them?
When I try to find a concrete definition for forgiveness, there seem to be many different interpretations.
According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, forgiveness means “to cease to feel resentment against (an offender)”
According to the Mayo Clinic, “Forgiveness means different things to different people. Generally, however, it involves a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge.”
According to Dr. Ned Hallowell, there are 4 steps to forgiveness:
- Pain and Hurt - acknowledging what happened.
- Relive and reflect - free yourself from the poison of hatred.
- Working it out - analyze your anger and put your life back into perspective.
- Renounce your anger and resentment
I know God expects us to forgive and when I recite the Lord’s Prayer, I say, “forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us…” I know God wants us to turn the other cheek but my self-preservation kicks in and won’t let me.
I don’t have the answers to any of these questions and I’m not sure anyone really does. But I think it is important to think about it and try to forgive others. I hope that I haven’t intentionally hurt anyone for them to feel resentment or revenge but I’m not sure that I would ever know about it. I’m not perfect so I hope that those people I unintentionally hurt have forgiven me.
This makes me think twice when I expect students who are angry with each other to make up and get along. If it is so hard for me, why do I think it will be easier for them. Yet, I need to teach them that when they get into the workplace, they may have to figure out a way to do this in order to work with someone they don't get long with.
No comments:
Post a Comment