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“So no matter what you're going through, keep that
truth in mind. This problem probably feels bigger right now than it actually
is.”
I tend to make problems bigger than they really are. My
mother used to tell me that I would make mountains out of molehills. In my
mind, my problems were sometimes unsurmountable and impossible to fix. To
others, my problems were minuscule and trivial.
I’m sure that my students feel the same way about their
problems. Sometimes this comes out in their behavior. I try to explain to them
that worrying about something and keeping it bottled up is asking for disaster.
They are like a pressure cooker and the pressure will need to escape or they
will explode.
I want students to be able to share their problems with someone
so that they won’t keep their problems inside. They can tell a teacher,
guidance counselor, or a trusted friend. The reason it is hard to share
problems with others is that you are afraid that someone will laugh at you
or trivialize your problem. It is important if someone does share their
problems with you to take them seriously. Remember that this is important to
the person telling you their troubles.
When you share a problem with someone, you are taking the
power out of the problem. Once the power is out of the problem, you can take a
more objective look at the problem. Soon the problem becomes solvable and not
impossible. Possibilities begin to form.
I think the most important step with problem-solving is to
share it with someone. They don’t need to help you solve the problem but just
by verbalizing the problem to someone can take some of the pressure off of you.
Sometimes the other person can give you some ideas from a
different perspective that you had not thought of before. This opens even more
options and opportunities that might help solve your problem.
I want my students to learn that this is an important step
to problem-solving. They don’t need to feel that they are all alone in this
world. They don’t need to feel isolated because this makes every problem in
their life much bigger than it really is. I want them to feel comfortable with telling
someone about a problem.
One of the best way to do this is by role-playing. I like to
come up with common problems that students have and have them role-play what
they could say to someone else. I even have them think about who they would
have this conversation with. Then, if this problem comes up in their lives or a
similar problem comes up, they will have some skills to deal with this.
How do you encourage students to solve their problems?
Please share.
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