“We get stuck defending what we already decided. Because it feels
easier to defend than it does to be wrong.”
Most young children are taught early to say I’m sorry when
they have done wrong. I think sometimes we teach then to feel shame when
something is wrong and that is why as adults, it is hard to admit that we are
wrong.
When we make a bad decision, the results do not turn out as
we expect or hope for and we see this as a failure.
When we make a mistake in our relationships, we feel this as
an inadequacy in ourselves that can’t be fixed. We see this as a flaw in
ourselves that we have to live with.
If we take a wrong action unintentionally, we feel shame. We
want to hide it so others don’t see us as imperfect.
Luckily, I had an awesome principal who was a great role
model for me. When we made a mistake with some information to the parents, he told
me that we need to own up to it and write a letter of apology and correction to
the parents. Other administrators would have either ignored it or tried to find
a way to justify the mistake rather than fix it. By admitting we were wrong and
fixing it, it took a lot of stress out of the whole situation. Yes, it was
embarrassing that we were wrong but it was better than parent complaints or
even possible lawsuit threats.
I have talked to some parents who told me that they would
not have sued the school if only someone would have communicated with them and
admitted they made a mistake. A simple “I’m sorry” can go a long way.
Teaching students that making a mistake is just an opportunity
for growth and improvement. No one is perfect. I think it is important to teach
students how to handle mistakes and also show it in my actions. When I make a
mistake, I tell my students that I made a mistake and even talk aloud about the
options I have in order to deal with it. As the students see my thought process
and how I decide to handle it, they become more comfortable dealing with their
own mistakes.
How do you help your students admit they were wrong? Please
share.
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