Tuesday, June 11, 2019


“It occured to me that this is essentially what humans are doing constantly as they explore and entertain new ideas. Is that cost worth the benefit? Also, what is the cost and what is the benefit?”

I’m the world’s worst in jumping on a new idea and suddenly thinking it sounds wonderful and the answer to everyone’s prayers.

Luckily, I have a husband who has more common sense and is more realistic beside me. He usually lets me get the jumping up and down out of my system and then starts asking the hard questions. He is always looking at things to see if it is cost effective. He doesn’t just look at the cost in money terms but in time and effort.

Let’s face it, I have a hard time saying no. Many times, I asked to spearhead a project and I feel honored to be asked. I am flattered that the person thinks I’m capable of doing this job. And if they offer to pay me for it, I’m even more flattered! I want to rush in to do all the things because people believe I can do it and think I’m worth it in money too!

I agreed that before I say yes to anything, that I will talk it over with my husband first.

I can’t tell you how many times this has saved me from headaches and heartbreaks!

Once I come back down to earth and we start really examining how much time is involved and what it may cost me in effort and other sacrifices, I have to ask myself if it is really worth it.

As I’ve said before, if I’m going to do something, I’m going to give it my best so if I don’t want to put this much time and sacrifice other things for it, then I don’t need to do it.

No one taught me to do this and I learned from experience. Sometimes I got into situations that I realized later had nothing to do with flattery and more of “we can’t find anyone else stupid enough to do this.” But once I’m committed to it, I will do my best. I have learned to listen to my gut once the euphoria has worn off. Usually, my gut along with my husband’s sensibility will take care of me.

Students need to learn the skill of saying no. They need to learn how to do this diplomatically and without hurting people’s feelings. They need to learn to think before agreeing to anything and even talk it over with someone to look at all the angles. What will doing this cost them – not just in money, but in time and other ways?

How do you teach your students to look at the cost of their actions? Please share.

Photo by Fabian Blank on Unsplash

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