Thursday, September 5, 2019

Stand Up to the No

In The Power of No from The Muffin by Sioux Roslawsk

“However, sometimes "no" is a good thing. A powerful thing... in a good way.”

If someone tells me that I can’t do something or that way I want to achieve is impossible, it hurts my feelings. I want to give up my goal or my dream and wail in despair. But once I get over the hurt, I try to take the time to figure out why someone thinks I can’t do something.

Maybe they think that I don’t have the drive to complete the task.

Maybe they think I don’t have the resources to achieve what I want.

Maybe they think my timeline is not realistic.

Maybe my whole concept is wrong and needs to be revised.

I remember when I was growing up and my mother would tell me no. I would ask her why and her standard answer was, “Because I said so.”

When someone tells me no, I need to take a breath and dig deeper. I need to ask questions in a calm fashion so I can get a deeper explanation. If I can’t do at the time, then I need to come back to the person when I’m calmer to discuss this further. I need to ask the person if I can talk to them later about it.

This is an important skill for my students to learn. I don’t want them to accept the simple no. But I don’t want them to be belligerent or disrespectful when asking for an explanation.

Asking why will help to improve the situation. Just by accepting the simple no will not help anyone move forward. Let the person know that their explanation will really help to improve the situation and help the person make the necessary adjustments or revisions needed to be successful. If something is achievable just by making a few adjustments or revisions, then it needs to be attempted.

How do you help your students get past the “no” and move forward? Please share. 

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