Thursday, July 12, 2012

Flexibility is a State of Mind

flexibilityIn Habits of Mind: Flexibility from Apace of Change, damian states,

I believe I save myself a lot of angst and aggravation by accepting there are some things I just have zero control over…I can’t always make everyone perfectly happy all the time, but what I can do is ask questions and listen to all the responses to try to develop a solution that is at least acceptable to everyone.  What’s more, I’ve learned that sometimes asking the right questions is more important than having all the answers, as those questions will often spark something in others that I hadn’t considered, and that may lead us all to a better solution.”

That is one of the hardest things for me to do. It is hard for me to accept that there are some things that I do not have any control over and I have to live with whatever is stressing me out. I admit that I’m a major control freak! I like having a schedule and a plan in my life and I like everything to follow that exactly. Now I know in real life, that never happens but I like to think that it could. I like to think that I am able to be the one in charge of this. But, life has a way of rearing its head and letting me know who really is in charge.

I finally have to sit myself down and make a list of things that are not going the way I had planned and causing me stress. Beside each item, I put a check by the things that I control and can make changes. For the ones that I have no control over and cannot change, I just put a line through them. Then I start focusing on the items with the checks by them. I think of ways that I can change them for the better. Once I am taking action on the things I can control, I stop worrying about items I can’t control. Just by acknowledging them on paper helps me put them in the right place in my mind.

Slowly I am teaching my mind how to be more flexible. The more I do this; I notice that I have less and less items that I am crossing off. Maybe I’m realizing that the things I have no control over do not play a major role in my life anymore. Maybe I’m realizing that flexibility is a state of mind.

Do you have ways you handle things that you can and cannot control? Please share?

Image: 'Magic of Elegance'

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