To My Past Self

Yesterday I thought it would be fun to have my students write a letter to their future selves. Today I think it would be fun to write to their past self.

If you knew then what you know now, what would you tell your past self?

I remember thinking things were the end of the world when I was younger but it wasn’t. As a more mature person, I can see things from a different perspective.

Here is my advice to my past self:

• Mistakes that seem like they are the worst thing that could happen, really aren’t.
• Don’t worry so much about what others are thinking because they probably aren’t even thinking about you.
• Get outdoors more. It helps you appreciate the world around you.
• Make wise friendships. You don’t need a lot of friends, just good friends.
• Friends who give you ultimatums really aren’t your friends.
• Notice who stays close to you and helps you during the tough times. They are your real friends.
• Be kind to everyone, even those you don’t like. You don’t know what their life is like.
• Don’t be so quick to judge people. Again, you don’t know what their life is like.
• Don’t think you know everything. You don’t.
• Appreciate your parents more. You will realize how important they are when you no longer have them.
• Keep in touch with good friends. You will be glad you did many years later.

What advice would you give your past self? Please share.

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To My Future Self

In A letter to your future self from Seth Godin's Blog, Seth Godin asks,

What would you say to your future self?

I thought it would be more fun to ask my students to write a letter to their future selves. I think of elderly people I’m around and think that one day that will be me. I see them do things that I hope when I get their age, I will do differently. Writing a letter to my future self will be a way to remind myself of these things.

Here is some advice I would give to my future self:

• Be more flexible. I have heard that the older you get, the more set in your ways you get.
• Listen to your children who give you advice. I remember my parents ignoring our advice.
• Watch out for scams. It seems as you get older, you are more trusting and vulnerable to scams.
• Stay active. People who stay active live longer. Don’t just sit in front of the TV and stop moving.
• Choose healthy eating habits and stay away from unhealthy choices.
• Don’t keep telling people how good it was in the “good ol’ days.” No one really wants to hear that they should go back to the way things were. The world is a different place now.
• Find a way to share your talents with younger generations. Don’t let a specific skill you have go into extinction.
• Surround yourself with positive people. It is too easy to talk about your aches and pains and the negative things in life. Stay positive.
• Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Others feel thankful to be able to help you.

What would you say to your future self? Please share.

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Advice Given

In The Power of Sharing from Sioux's Page, Sioux asks,

“What have you "given" someone in the form of advice or help recently, or what have you received that was helpful?”

I like to offer advice when it is asked. Mostly I give advice to teachers who have a difficult teaching situation or to parents who want to know what they can do to help their child be more successful. Most of the advice I give concerns education because of my many years of experience. I also find it a challenge to try to find possible keys to a student’s success and each student’s situation is like a new puzzle. I find it very gratifying if I can help the student (and parents) find success.

I like to write posts about my recent travel and add places and costs if at all possible. I hope this gives other travelers some idea of what we did in certain places and how much we spent. I try to put the cost of cab fare or entrance fees also. By doing this, I also have a record of our travels in case we return to these places again.  So, I guess there are times I am asking for my own help.

When I am knitting, I might come across something that I don’t understand or can’t figure it out.  I joined a weekly knitting group and there are more experienced knitters there that can help me. I also joined Ravelry, which is an online fiber group, and there is always someone there willing to answer my questions.

I am not the most experienced cook either so I am usually seeking advice when I try a new recipe. Sometimes the recipes have a new term or an ingredient that I don’t have and I’m usually asking friends for help.

I think this would be a great thing to share with students. They need to know that I’m willing to ask for advice as well as give it. No one in this world knows everything and there are others who have different strengths than I do. In fact, I have even asked students for help in thinking of solutions to a problem that I may have.

When have you given advice or asked for help? Please share.

Advice

In Taking Advice from Sioux's Page, Sioux asks,

“What has a friend (or specifically a writer friend) given you that has proven to be good (or bad) advice? Inquiring minds are dying to know...”

When No Child Left Behind came around, it was determined that I was not highly qualified. Even though I had taught over 25 years, had a Masters’ degree plus 30 hours (equivalent to 2 Master’s degree), and was Nationally Board Certified, I was still not highly qualified (according to our state and federal governments).

So, I found out that I needed to be certified to teach elementary level students along with my special education certification in order to teach my high school self-contained students with all different disabilities. I applied to take the test and was told that it was scheduled for 9/11.

When I was told about this date, I felt like it was a really bad omen and was instantly depressed. I imagined failing the test and thought about what other career I could have if I couldn’t teach. I love my special education students and I love teaching. I had worked myself up into a tizzy and couldn’t even think straight.

I whined and ranted to all the friends that would listen. Many who weren’t in education could not understand my anger and bitterness. Those in education could commiserate but had no words of comfort.

Then one day, my friend Sara looked at me and said the words that had the biggest impact. She said, “Pat, before the big 9/11 day, 9/11 used to be just a normal day like any other. That is all this is. It is a normal day. You will take the test and pass it. That’s it. Just do it.”

Wow! That stopped me in my tracks. I stopped whining and ranting. It was just a day like any other day! I knew my stuff. I knew how to teach. I was a great teacher. There was no reason that I couldn’t pass this test.

On that day, I went in to take the test with a new confidence. I saw this day as the “day that I had to take the Praxis test” and not any other day. I felt good about it and even though I resented having to take the test, I put on my big girl panties and did what needed to be done in order to do what I wanted to do.

Needless to say, I passed the test with flying colors and all was well in my world again.

Thanks to Sara, she put my life in perspective again. I had blown this day way out of proportion in relation to something I needed to do. This is exactly why I share my feelings with my friends. When I need encouragement and support, they are there for me. If needed, they help me have a reality check when I need one.

What advice has someone given you? Was it bad or good? What happened? Please share.

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Unwanted Advice

In Request + Unwanted = Embraced from Sioux's Page, Sioux asks,
How do you deal with unwanted/unasked for advice?

It is hard for me to accept unwanted/unasked for advice because I tend to see it as criticism rather than helpful. That is not saying that the person offering it is criticizing but that is just how I perceive it. I think it comes from being the youngest of 3 girls and everyone told me what to do when I was growing up. I often felt like I wasn’t allowed to spread my own wings and do things on my own. Everyone knew better than me and expected me to do what I was told.

I try to listen and keep an open mind because I have to remind myself that they might actually tell me something useful. I have to swallow my resentment and shut off the inner voices. I try to remind myself that some people have learned from experience and are trying to save me the trouble of making the same mistakes they did.

I try to remember that I do not have to do what is suggested. I might have a different personality or different values than the person giving advice. Yet, it doesn’t hurt to listen to what is being said.

Knowing how I feel and react by unwanted advice, I need to remember this when helping other people (you can replace the word people with words like students or family members too).

Rather than actually telling other people what they should do, I try to turn it around and mention what I have done in the same situation. Or I try to discuss what I would do if it was me.

I try to remember how I feel about unwanted advice and make an effort to keep my tone and my words from sounding like criticism. We have a saying in our family that is “If you have nothing nice to say, then say nothing at all.”

I also make sure that others know this is just my opinion and I do not expect anyone to do what I would do because we are different people.

How do you handle advice you don’t ask for or even want? Please share.

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Advice from My Mom

In Punching Over a Piece of Cake by Sioux's Page, Sioux  asks

“What advice or lesson did you learn from your mom that stuck with you over the years?”

(By the way, can you tell I love Sioux’s blog? She really inspires a lot of my blog posts so if you haven’t had a chance, please check out her blog too!)

Let's see…her main saying was, “I brought you into this world and I can take you out!”

But I won’t talk about that.

The other lesson she was always teaching was, “Don’t spit in the air because it will come back down on you.”

That was her way of saying that I shouldn’t criticize others because I might someday be in the same situation. She believed that you never knew what someone else was going through unless you were in their shoes. I also believe that it was tempting fate and by judging someone out loud, it could cause me to have to go through the same thing and I prayed that would never happen.

As a teen, I remember rolling my eyes whenever I heard her say that. I mean, I was a teenager and I knew it all about everything! I’m sure I had an opinion about anything and everything and of course, I felt my opinion was the right one.

Now that I’m older, I look back and remember how I judged people and situations (but I was smart enough to keep my mouth closed, thanks to my mother!). Then I see how life has turned out and how my experiences in life have changed my opinion.

I hate to say it, but my mother was right.

I look at my students and want to tell them the same advice but I don’t think teens today are any more interested in this advice than I was.

But like my mother, I can’t keep my mouth shut. I have to share her wisdom and if someday it helps one student, then I’ve done a good thing.

What advice/lesson did you learn from your mother? Please share.

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Suggestions for a Frustrated Teacher

Recently on another site for special ed teachers who knit and crochet, someone asked the following questions. I thought I would share my answers.

· How do you keep control over your classroom? How do you deal with a couple of kids who act out on a regular basis, while not neglecting the others?
A: Have a behavior plan in place and be consistent. Stick with this plan for at least a month even if it seems like it isn’t working because students will test you to see who can give in first. Consistency is the key. I would call parents on a regular basis (at least every other week) and brag about their children when they are doing good things. I would also just touch base to see if they had any concerns and tell what we were working on. I would come into class and tell the kids that I called some homes to brag about them. The kids who act out always ask why I wasn’t calling their homes and I would tell them that if they were good that day, I would call home to brag and I would. This made them try harder to act appropriately.

· How do you keep them on task? E.g., for a fidgety student, a case manager recommended some silly putty to keep his hands busy. Instead, it just keeps him fully engaged in playing with the putty (which is a tolerable result because at least he’s staying in the classroom and isn’t disturbing others), but usually ends up with him throwing pieces across the room (then the putty is taken away, he starts throwing things, and has to be removed from the room).
A: I have used the rubbery squishy balls for a student to manipulate while I am talking. This has helped. I also allowed students to stand up in the back of the room as long as they weren’t disturbing anyone.

· How do you let your kids know that failure is ok? One or two go into anxiety attacks at the thought of getting even one question wrong, to the point where they not only refuse to try to answer it, but also refuse to move on to the next problem.
A: I would start off with some activities I knew a student would be able to do. The more successful they are, the more likely they are to attempt harder stuff. I also told my students that on some things, even if they got all of the answers wrong, I graded for effort and they wouldn’t fail. I also said that I could tell if they gave full effort or not and if they didn’t, they would fail.

· When situations are spiraling out of control, how to you break the cycle? A kid acts out, teacher reports it to mom, the kid becomes resentful and acts out more, teacher has to tell mom, to the point where even when the teacher want to email the mom about positive behaviors the kid panics.
A: This is why contacting parents on a regular basis is so important! Once you get in a routine about giving attention to the positive behaviors, many of the negative behaviors will fade. Check out Classdojo.com which is a free program on PC and free app for Ipad. It is fun and easy to use for behavior management.

· How do you manage all of the bureaucratic paperwork? Keeping track of unique IEPs for each student, teacher evaluation requirements, etc.
A: I have a spreadsheet with all of the things that have deadlines and list the deadlines. Each day I make a list of what needs to be done that day and then prioritize. It is important to stay ahead of the paperwork so I don’t get overwhelmed.

· Any other advice?
A: Exercise, take vitamins, and drink plenty of water. Stay healthy. When you get run down, you feel miserable and unhappy with yourself, your job, and others. Ask the students which teachers they like the best and then go observe these teachers. Ask other teachers who they think are the best and go observe these teachers. Both observations will help you see how other teachers do things and help you see strategies in action. Find a hobby outside of teaching so you can get some distance and perspective about your teaching. reading.

Do you have any other suggestions to any of the questions? Please share!

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Advice for First Year Teachers

In Meeting My “First Year Self” from A Relief Teacher's Journey,Michael Graffin shares some strategies and resources to survive the first year of teaching. He gives some advice that he wished someone had told him. I totally agree with everything he has mentioned and wanted to add a few more things of advice to what he mentions. Please check out his post and read the advice he gives too.

Keep a Journal: I really wish someone had told me to keep a journal of my years of teaching. I kept one the first year and then life got in the way. Now that I look back of my 30 years in the public school, I really wish I had kept a journal every year.

Prevent burn out in advance: I know that most teachers get burned out after five years. If you know this in advance, look for ways to avoid it. Get a life outside of school. Learn a new hobby. Have an outside interest.

Learn something from your students: Look for something new that you didn’t know before. This makes every day a brand new start. Learning from my students was invigorating and exciting. It might be a lesson in behavior or it might be a lesson in new technology. Knowing that every day is a new learning experience can keep you on your toes.

Exercise: Do some kind of regular exercise at least three times a week for at least 30 minutes even if it is only getting out and walking. This helps keep a positive attitude in your life. When you are feeling down, exercise. When you are feeling frustrated, exercise. When you are feeling exhausted, exercise. When you are feeling great, exercise.

Don’t Give Up: Sometimes it is easier to give up than to plug on. But don’t. I remember hearing someone tell me that when I reached the end of my rope, to tie another know in it. Remember all the hard work you put into training for this career and the reason you went into it. Eventually you will get into a rhythm and it will be easier and you will end up enjoying it. Too many people give up before they reach this stage.

Ask for Help: As a new teacher, you feel like you are already in a fishbowl and everyone is just watching you and waiting for you to fail. Actually the opposite is true. Everyone is just waiting for you to ask for help. They are waiting to catch you when you fall. They don’t want to offer help in case you see it as their lack of faith in what you can do. When you don’t know something or you need support, ask for it. There are people out there who want to be there for you.

What other advice would you give to new teachers? Please share.

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New Teacher Advice

Next week, our teachers will return to school and get ready to start the new school year. Recently, I got an email from someone who will be teaching special education for the first time and asked me for some general advice. I wasn’t told what grade level or what handicaps will be involved but I think my advice works for all. I thought I would share with you what advice I gave.

General advice:

1. Take time to eat your lunch each day - you will need it for energy!

2. Take a multivitamin (because your body will need to fight off all the bugs the kids pass on to you).

3. Have a hobby to do outside of school which is necessary to relieve stress.

4. Stay away from negative people. Expect to go through some tough times (which is natural) so you don't need negativity to make you feel worse.

5. Be open to suggestions from experienced teachers around you.

6. But be careful about trusting the wrong people (who may steer you in the wrong direction)

7. Call parents the first day and introduce yourself and tell them how excited you are about teaching their children.

8. Call or email parents every other week to touch base and brag about their children). The parents really appreciate this and you will get more supportive parents this way. The administration loves this too! Keep a log of who you call, when you call, and notes about what you talked about.

9. Ask to sit in on another special education teacher's IEP meeting so you can watch the procedure before you have to hold a meeting.

10. Find a special education mentor if the school/district hasn't given you one.

For all you experienced teachers, do you have any general advice that you would add to my list? Please share!

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Helping a Student with Mild Spectrum Disorder

I recently received an email asking for advice and thought you might enjoy reading the exchange. The question is in bold and my answer is in italics below it.

“1. We have one student at our school is has been diagnosed as having mild Spectrum Disorder.  We do not have a special needs teacher at our school, so when we (the teachers) have a questions about "Is this a good assignment...." or "How can I adapt this assignment??" type question we do not have anyone that can help us know what to do. We asked him to write goals for this quarter of school.  It was enlightening to discuss his viewpoint of goals.  His thoughts are that setting goals are just asking to fail at something.  He said that everytime he has set goals he has been unable to complete them.  He then feels bad about himself for failing.  We were able to set some short term goals that were achieveable for him, and I have been checking on him regularly.  Is this a typical scenario with goal setting?  If not, do you have any tips for me on how to help him understand that it is not a set-up for failure.”

I think writing goals for a whole quarter may be too abstract for him right now. I also think it is great that he can verbalize why it is hard for him. I might try using a visual calendar and having him decide what he wants to accomplish by a certain date but 3 months ahead if really hard. Since he sees things in "black and white", planning that far ahead is too "gray." I think by letting him achieve short term goals will give him some confidence. Then maybe make those short term goals cover a little more time each time you set new ones. Another thing to suggest would be to show him that long term assignments with due dates could possibly be considered a long term goal. This would be a little more concrete for him to see when you put it on a calendar. His goal could be to: complete "assignment" by "due date." You might even put this on the calendar without calling it a "long term goal" which might add more stress on him. Once he achieves it, you can reflect back on it and show him how it was a long term goal and how he was successful with it.

“2.  Today one of his teachers came to me with an assignment that he refused to complete.  The main assignment was a "what if " type scenario that he was to write a paragraph about this topic.  His response was "I do not want / I can't think about these types of questions because I just don't know how it would have been .....Personally, I hate "what if" or "what would it have been like " questions.  I know this is 40 points of my grade, but I just can't do this. "   His teacher is not sure of what to do with this response.  Is there a modification that can be done in these type assignments.  The assignment is to assess the student's knowledge of a topic in a different way than just asked them to feed the information back to the teacher.”

Again, "what if" is too abstract for this student. Dealing in "black and white", "what if" is in the gray area. I wonder what the objective the teacher is trying to accomplish. Is the objective supposed to be writing a paragraph? If so, then would it be possible to write a paragraph on a topic that he is more comfortable with. Is the objective teaching some kind of social skill? If so, you will probably need to actually tell him what the desired response is and then practice it through social stories or role playing. Another thought, if the teacher is insistent that he write about that topic, may be look at the "what if" scenario and see if you can apply it to a situation that he has already experienced. Then he can write about it that way. 

You didn't ask this but I thought I would throw in another suggestion - if possible, giving him 2 choices would make him feel more in control of himself. Maybe if teachers gave 2 choices to write about, he would feel more comfortable with one and not be so resistant. But I would not give more than 2 choices or it might become overwhelming.

Also, writing abstract thoughts are much harder for these students. If at all possible, multiple choice, matching, fill in the blank are much easier on the student than writing short answer or essay. If checking for understanding (usually through short answer or essay), consider having the student give verbal answers either to the teacher or in a voice recorder to be turned in.

Do you have any other suggestions for this teacher? If so, please share.

Posted on the Successful Teaching Blog by loonyhiker (successfulteaching at gmail dot com).

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