Setting Limits

In The things we go back to from Seth Godin's Blog from Seth Godin states,

“Credit card companies have discovered that if a person carries $2,000 in debt with a $3,000 credit limit, they’ll probably have $4,000 in debt if the credit limit gets raised to $5,000.”

Most people like boundaries. In fact, I believe we need boundaries.

Imagine a world without speed limits or laws. They are essential for our community to work. Imagine our society without any laws!

My students need boundaries. They want to know the limits that a teacher sets. Yes, of course, they will push those boundaries and limits because they want to know if they are real. Will they be enforced? Does the teacher truly mean them or are they just lip service to administration?

When I was young, my parents explained they had rules for me because they loved me. If they didn’t have rules, I would believe they didn’t care and doubt that they loved me.

I believe my students feel the same way.

My classroom rules demonstrate that I care. I want all my students to have a productive learning environment that is safe to make mistakes. I want my students to feel that I will be fair and make all of them follow the same rules and the consequences will be fair for all. They need to know that I care enough about them to enforce the rules.

Without rules, my class would be chaotic. Students would feel they could do anything and not suffer consequences, and it would not feel like a safe learning environment for them. Students would be afraid of making a mistake and being ridiculed by others. Learning would be more difficult.

Students need someone to take a leadership role. If the teacher doesn't establish rules and doesn't establish the role of leader, one of the stronger students will. If this student is not the best-behaved student, the student will encourage disruption and bad behavior.

If I ask my students to write an essay, almost all of them want to know how long it should be. They want to know how many words, or paragraphs, or pages it should be. They want to know what my limits are. I know I felt the same way as a student and I felt very anxious when a teacher responded, “Write enough to answer the question.”

Do you establish limits in your class? Please share.

Photo by Ludovic Charlet on Unsplash

Retirement Rules

In Rules for retirement from Blue Skunk Blog, Doug Johnson asks,

“Any retirees out there who have their own set of rules for retirement?”

I never thought about it but I guess I have my own rules since I retired from teaching in public school. I don’t have many rules because I’m so routine oriented. I get up the same time every morning without the need for an alarm. I guess it is a habit after 30 years of getting up at the same time.

I actually had to learn to let go of the “rules” and just enjoy retirement. We love to travel and I’m a big planner, but my husband isn’t. He had to keep asking me to think about "what if." What if we don’t plan? What if we just play it by ear? What is the worst that could happen? When I looked at the consequences, I realized that letting go of the rules just means it will be a new adventure!

If I wrote out my rules from when I first retired, I think the list would be longer. Now I’m kind of proud that my list is so short.

Here is my list:

1.     I exercise or walk on the treadmill at least six days a week. I need to stay active.

2.     Eat healthier.

3.     I write a blog post every Monday through Friday.

4.     I keep a bullet journal where I make a list every morning of the things that I want to accomplish each day.

5.     Each day I write down one thing that I am grateful for.

Photo by Mark Duffel on Unsplash

Consistency

In Persistence vs. consistent in Seth Godin's Blog , Seth Godin shares,

“And the best thing is that you only have to make the choice to be consistent once. After that, it’s simply a matter of keeping your promise.”

When having to discipline students, it is important to be consistent. Students will know if you aren’t and feel that you are showing favoritism. If they feel this way, you will lose their respect and they won’t follow your directions.

Once you set the rules and consequences, you have to be consistent even at times you are tempted not to be.

Students need to realize that the rules apply to everyone equally. If anyone breaks the rules, they will suffer the same consequences.

If you aren’t consistent, students won’t know if you are serious or kidding. If you only appy the consequences when you are in a certain mood, students won’t learn to follow your directions when you need them to. They may try to take their chances that they won’t suffer any consequences this time.

Students will learn that you may or may not enforce the rules and this is not the way to be an effective teacher.

If you want students to be successful in your classroom and in their future, you need to teach them that rules are important and that the consequences of not following them apply to everyone in the class.

How do you show consistency in your classroom? Please share.

Photo by Jungwoo Hong on Unsplash

Rules

In Life Lesson #2 From Camel’s Hump from Janet Given's Blog, Janet Givens asks,

“What’s your position on rules?”

I grew with parents who saw things in black and white and so I was pretty literal when dealing with the rules. I believed I had to follow the rules exactly or else. I’m not sure what I thought or else was other than losing my parent’s love. Now that I’m an adult looking back, I should have realized that was the one thing that I never had to worry about.

Then when I went away to college and I was on my own, I enjoyed testing the limits and getting right on the edge of the rules. I enjoyed the freedom and learning that rules were not necessarily a straight line but had a stretch of gray area in the middle. I tended to go 10 miles over the speed limit and thinking the odds were good that I wouldn’t get a ticket. I stayed out partying with my friends since I didn’t live at home and the world did not fall apart. I was happy with an occasional B grade and didn’t beat myself over the idea of not getting all As. (I confess to really only getting one B but I felt like that was pretty rebellious!).

Then I became a teacher and worked with students from different backgrounds. These students were living a life that I never imagined. Yet, they were surviving the best way they could. Suddenly the rules were so black or white or even gray. There were rules about dealing with students that somehow went against reasonable common sense. We were told that if students owed money to the cafeteria for more than 5 days, we couldn’t loan them any more money. I just couldn’t comprehend going hungry and bought many students a lunch with my own money. I was told not to give students my home number but when I found out that their parents couldn’t read or write, who else could they call for help with their homework?

Then I became a mother. I remember all those things my mother said to me that I swore I would never say. The phrase “never say never” really applies to real life! I can hear myself repeating many of the things she said to me. I was told by many people the “right” way to raise children and tried to be the perfect wife and the perfect mother by doing all the perfect things. That is the “rule” about mothering right? Needless to say, this never happened and I found that I had to do what was right for our family.

So, now I think I see rules as depending on the circumstances. If the rules are laws and by breaking them, I would end up in jail, I will definitely follow the rules. If the rules are just guidance from others, then I need to work out the best rules that work for me and those involved. But I think it took experience to get to this point and I don’t see how I could have skipped the steps to get here.

So, how do you feel about rules? Please share.

Enforce Rules

Last week we were at the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore and hiked to an overlook. Boy, was I surprised to see a Law Enforcement Ranger with three young adults and she was asking for the identification. We watched the fourth person climb over the fence to where she was. Apparently they crossed over the barrier to walk to the Miner’s Castle even though all along the barriers there were warnings not to do so or face possible fines and imprisonment. I’m glad to see the enforcement of the rules and I hope this is a new trend through national parks.

When I visited the Grand Canyon, I notice many young people would ignore the barriers and go sit on the edge of the rocks to hang their feet over the side and peer right down into the canyon. I never saw anyone enforce these rules and I was so afraid these people would fall to their death!

I see parents threaten children with all sorts of punishment only to  really not follow through. This teaches the child that we don’t really mean what we say. So, when they see rules stating to not go beyond this point or else, they really don’t believe anything will happen.

Unfortunately many people today do not feel like rules apply to them. I see all of these conflicts between police and civilians and many times the civilians are refusing to follow directions which lead to the conflicts.

Even in schools we see students sent to the office and return to the classroom laughing. Many times administration does not deal consistently with the students and send a message that rules are not enforced. Sometimes different administrators deal differently with students who commit the same infractions and students talk.

It scares me when we are sending this message to young people. It is so important that we are consistent and fair. We need to start early with our children and teach them to follow rules because there are reasons to do so, even if it means to avoid prosecution.

How do you feel about the enforcement of rules? Please share.

Original photo by Pat Hensley