Inferiority

Many of my students with disabilities feel inferior to their peers in general education classes. They feel like damaged goods and that they aren’t good enough to succeed. This is the myth that I work hard at dispelling.

I want my students to know that they are as good as everyone else in the world and deserve to have good things happen to them. Even though they have a disability, they have other strengths that their peers might not have. For example, I had a broken radio in my car and two of my students knew how to work on cars so I let them replace the radio in my car. This was the first time that an adult let them do work on a car for them and I trusted them. I believed in them. Just because I didn’t know how to do that doesn’t mean that I’m inferior to them. When the radio was replaced and working well, they were learning to believe in themselves.

For many years, my students tried to hide the fact that they were in a self-contained special education class. When there was a class break and the bell rang for other students to change classes, my students would hide in the corners of my room so the other students couldn’t see them. Didn’t they realize that their friends already knew this? The only ones in denial were themselves. So, I made every student leave my class during a class break so they didn’t take up class time to use the bathroom because they wouldn’t go on break. I locked the door and wouldn’t let my students back in until right before the bell rang. I explained to them that if they acted like they had something to be ashamed of, then others would treat it this way.

My students had to learn that having a disability was not something they had control over. A learning/emotional disability was just like having diabetes or a prosthetic limb and was not anything they did on purpose. The important thing was learning how to live with this disability.

One way I worked hard to combat this mindset was by having a class motto. Every paper that they turned in to be graded had to have our class motto, “I am a Born Winner!” written on it. At first, they were embarrassed to write it. Then they just rolled their eyes and then slowly, they started to believe in it. They started holding their head up and accepting who they were. They stopped being embarrassed about themselves. What an amazing difference this made in moving forward in class. Suddenly success in school and life began to feel possible!

How do you handle this inferiority complex in your classroom? Please share.   

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

I Want You to Like Me

Recently I heard a discussion about how people do things just so someone else will like them. Many children and teenagers fall into this trip. Adults who have a low self-concept may do this often also.

Sometimes people will do something to impress another person, even when they know their actions is not right. Teens may commit a crime to impress their peers.

I also need to recognize that these students may act the same way to impress a teacher. They may try to be the teacher’s pet in order to gain favor from the teacher.

I need to make sure that all of my students feel respected and liked. I shouldn’t expect my students to act a certain way in order for me to like them or help them.

I try to make it clear to all of the students when I first meet them that I know nothing about their past and will not judge them. They will start in my classroom with a clean slate.

Now, if they get in trouble for misbehavior, they will have to pay the consequences, but they will do so in order to learn how to act appropriately. Nothing they can do will make me not like them or cause me to like them less.

It is important for students to feel this unconditional acceptance in order to succeed in the classroom. The students have to face this fear of being unaccepted by their peers and sometimes with their families. The classroom should be a safe place for them. If they aren’t having to worry about acceptance, they can focus on learning whether it is learning academic subjects or learning appropriate behavior.

This feeling of acceptance won’t happen overnight. I need to repeat this acceptance over and over in the classroom to my students. Not only do I need to say the words that they need to hear, but my actions need to reflect what I’m saying to them. I need to believe in what I’m saying as well as my students. Students can detect insincerity very easily.

Photo by Beth Rufener on Unsplash

Be Unique

In One of the above from Seth Godin's Blog, Seth Godin shares,

“In order to be “one of the above” you have to begin by being willing to be ‘none of the above.’”

When we are young, we spend so much time trying to fit in and be like everyone else. We think that if we are like everyone else, we will belong.

Teens want to be part of the group and not stand out. They want to blend in because they think that if they are like everyone else, they will be accepted. It is this desire of acceptance that leads many down a dark path. When they finally realize that they don’t need to be like everyone else and that they can be themselves, they can shine in their own self-acceptance.

This is a hard lesson to teach students. They don’t believe that I understand how they feel. They think I’ve forgotten what it is like to be their age. They think that things are different during this time than it was when I was there age. Though events may be different, I don’t believe individual feelings and desires have changed that much.

In the same respect, I feel that new teachers are in the same boat as a teenager.

New teachers want to belong to this new group they have finally been able to join. They want to look like all the other teachers and be accepted. They want to be just like the veteran teachers so that they won’t stand out.

But I think it is important for new teachers to stand out. Their enthusiasm and excitement are sometimes a needed shot in the arm for veteran teachers. New and innovative ideas come from these new teachers. While overall teaching hasn’t changed a lot, fun new strategies can be shared by new teachers. Sometimes veteran teachers may get a  little dusty and it is this influx of new teachers that can get rid of the cobwebs and bring new life to a faculty.

I like to encourage new teachers not to be afraid of their newness. Don’t curb your excitement about your new career. Be willing to share your new ideas and don’t be discouraged if the veteran teachers are not as excited as you are. Be willing to try your new ideas and if they don’t work out as planned, keep trying.

But also, don’t think that you know everything and that the veteran teachers need to be put out to pasture. New teachers can learn a lot from veteran teachers’ experiences in the classroom. Be willing to listen to advice and if you disagree, just listen and do your own thing. You don’t need to debate everything that you don’t agree with.

Being a new teacher is a wonderful thing for all. It usually takes a few years for a new teacher to feel accepted. Sometimes it happens when another new teacher arrives the next year and you are no longer considered the new teacher.

It is okay to be unique and stand out. This may be what is needed in order to be successful in the classroom and even in real life.

How do you stand out? Please share.

Photo by Ricardo Gomez Angel on Unsplash

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Mistakes

In Mistakes, failures and problems from Seth Godin's Blog , Seth Godin shares,

“A mistake is something you learn from… you did it wrong, you’ll do it better next time.”

It is important to know that mistakes happen, and no one is perfect. This is important when we are critical of others, especially those in the public spotlight. We need to remember that even people that we view in high regard are not always perfect. Sometimes we see celebrities in the spotlight and imagine that they have a perfect life but in reality, no one’s life is perfect.

In the same respect, we need to remember that we aren’t perfect either. Sometimes I get so frustrated when I make a mistake because I don’t like to make mistakes. Sometimes I feel depressed or disappointed in myself and sometimes these feelings are so strong, that I feel paralyzed by my feelings.

I need to accept that I’m not perfect and quit beating myself up over my mistakes.

I need to learn from my mistakes and think about how to correct my mistake. Then I need to learn why I made that mistake, so I don’t repeat it. Making mistakes is not the problem/ The problem is when I keep repeating the same mistake.

This is an important thing for my students to learn. I need to teach them not to be so hard on themselves. Many of them feel like they have lost before they have even begun. This feeling of failure before they even start keeps them from trying.

For so many years, they have felt like failures so getting them to try and accept their mistakes as learning opportunities are not going to be easy. This makes several occasions of repeated conversations and encouragement to get them to be willing to take the risk. Yes, making mistakes can be disheartening but it should not be devastating.

It is important that I help the students how to analyze their mistakes and try to find out why they made them. It is this knowledge that will help them from making the same mistake again.

How do you help your students accept and learn from the mistakes that they make? Please share.

Photo by Jelleke Vanooteghem on Unsplash