Fading into the Background

A couple of weeks ago, Pastor Kyle talked about Where’s Waldo and how easy it was for people to fade into the background. Waldo and Jesus can be overlooked in all the “busy-ness” around them. He also talked about how the artist would draw in Waldo last but Jesus was different because Jesus wasn’t an afterthought. He is always with us.

This reminded me of my years when I was a student. I was very quiet and didn’t want any attention drawn to me. I wanted to fade away in the background. Sitting in the rows of desks, I would try to hide my body behind the person in front of me. I never raised my hand to answer questions even if I knew the answer. The reason I did this was that I was scared. For many years, I faced a lot of bullying and hoped that if the bullies didn’t notice me, they would leave me alone.

I was also afraid of failure and giving the wrong answer. If I did this, it would also cause the teacher to pay attention to me. I felt that my parents expected me to be perfect. Making a mistake would disappoint my parents and I would be crushed.

I just wanted to survive my school years and I feared that if I didn’t fade into the background, I wouldn’t make it.

This had me thinking about many of my students. I’m not talking about the students who act out or craze attention. Some of my students were very quiet and withdrawn. Many of my students were bullied because they had special needs. Other students picked on them because they were different. Some of my students had years of difficulties in school, so they saw my class as just one more year of more difficulty.

As a teacher, I would try to seek these students out. I didn’t want them to feel like an afterthought. I wanted my students to feel safe and not overlooked. If they were being bullied, I wanted them to feel safe. I wanted them to see that I noticed what was happening and would stop the situation. I also didn’t want my students to feel afraid of making mistakes. I wanted them to see that these were just learning opportunities. An error should not be a terror.

I wanted to be like Jesus and show my students that I would be there for them. They were not alone. I didn’t want my students to have the same school experience that I grew up with. I wanted to be their safety net and show them that learning opened the door to so many possibilities. I wanted to help them face the bullies and stand up to them. I wanted to help them face the fear of failure and overcome this obstacle that keeps them from learning.  Together, we can be successful because no one walks alone. 

Do you see these students in your classes? How do you help them? Please share.

Obstacles are Not Catastrophes

In ​​Catastrophization from Seth Godin's Blog, Seth Godin states

“A catastrophe is a shared emergency that overwhelms our interactions and narratives”

Too many times, the education systems react to challenges as if they are catastrophes rather than challenges.

When this happens, we react instead of act.

I recently watched a TV show where the leader of a team kept telling them to “work the problem.” This reminds everyone to stop reacting and start acting. Look at the possibilities instead of the impossibilities.

This is important to teach my students. I want them to stop seeing every obstacle as if it is a catastrophe. When they have this mindset, I think it causes them to shut down and want to curl in a ball to protect themselves. This keeps them from moving forward.

I want my students to see each other as a teammate. When an obstacle arises, I want them to trust everyone to help them work the problem if they are unable to do it themselves. Once we understand the problem, we have them brainstorm different solutions. No idea is laughed at and all ideas are thrown out for consideration. Once all the ideas are exhausted, we can look at each one and see what the limitations or possibilities are in order to narrow it down to a possible solution.

When I first start this process, I start with a few of my own obstacles so the students understand the process. Once I can model how we do this and my students understand how helpful this is, I encourage each one to share an obstacle. The more we do this process, the easier it gets for some students to open up. They like having the support of others when we do this and sometimes others share that they have faced the same obstacle before. Some share how they handled it and how they wish they handled it differently.

This process is a very powerful strategy and has helped my students be more successful in the classroom and out of the classroom.

How do you help students face obstacles? Please share.

Photo by Tim Collins on Unsplash

Speed Bump vs. Obstacle

In Speed bumps from Seth Godin's Blog, Seth Godin states,

“Often, the only difference between a speed bump and an obstacle is our decision about which one it is.”

When I have a problem, I try to work on it until I can solve it. Sometimes I ask for help but then I’m able to solve it. This is a speed bump.

When I give up, it becomes an obstacle and keeps me from achieving what I want to do. Giving up never solves the problem.

I try to get my students to understand that their learning disability is just a speed bump and not an obstacle. They might have to go slower over the speed bump but they will eventually reach their goal. Many of my students see their learning disability as a brick wall that can’t be penetrated. I feel it is my job to help them see that this is just an illusion. I want my students to see that I am there to help them see clearly. The more we work together the brick wall suddenly gets shorter and shorter. before long that brick wall disappears and in its place, it's just a little speed bump.

Unfortunately, this process does not happen overnight. It takes time and patience which many of my students do not have. They feel they have lost so much time that their peers are speeding past them. Because of this, they continually feel like they are beating their heads against the brick wall and getting them nowhere. I have to convince them that being patient and taking the time the move forward with me is worth the effort.

How do you help your students see the difference between a speed bump and an obstacle? Please share.

Photo by Riley Pitzen on Unsplash

Finding Alternatives

Recently I had my treadmill worked on and found out that the motor was dying. The repairman suggested that I do not use the treadmill to prevent any injuries until it could be fixed. I love to walk on the treadmill early in the morning before my husband wakes up because once we get busy with our daily errands and routines, my exercise is not a high priority. So, I started watching YouTube videos called Leslie Sansone’s Walk at Home. I am pleasantly surprised at what a great work out I’m getting! I’m able to get my 10,000 + steps each day even without my treadmill. I may even try to continue some of the workouts after my treadmill gets repaired.

This had me realizing that it is important to find alternatives when our routine is interrupted or derailed. It is so easy to come up with excuses or rationales for why I can’t do something. I could have just stopped exercising with the excuse that my treadmill is broken. No one would notice or care that I’m not exercising other than me. I would care and I don’t want to fall back into bad habits.

So, I looked for alternatives and found one. Luckily, I hit the jackpot on the first videos I watched and I’m quite happy with the variety and pace of the exercises. If these didn’t work, I would look for others.

I need to teach my students that they need to do the same in their lives. This applies to not only exercise but about any aspect of life they are dealing with. It is easy to find excuses, but it takes much more energy and effort to look for alternatives. A lot of it depends on how bad you want to really find a solution.

Sometimes by searching for alternatives, you can learn new things and even find things you want to do more research about. You might even learn that the solution is something that you have to create yourself because what you need hasn’t been discovered yet.

When something becomes an obstacle, don’t give up. Look for ways to overcome this obstacle. If you aren’t interested in overcoming the obstacle, then it probably isn’t a real obstacle. It is just an excuse.

When have you had to find alternatives? Please share.

Photo by Jason Wong on Unsplash

An Uphill Journey

In Uphill both ways from Seth Godin's Blog , Seth Godin shares,

“Newton had it right… you’re going to need to go uphill in order to go downhill.”

It seems like everything I’ve accomplished and felt proud of has been an uphill battle.

Goals that I’ve wanted to achieve has been a struggle for me.

When it has been easy to achieve things, I don’t feel the sense of accomplishment and pride about them as I do the ones that I had to work for. Those seem more of a stroke of luck and happenstance than actually a product of hard work.

But while I’m working towards the goal, I feel I’m putting a lot of sweat equity into it whether it involves mental or physical labor. As I struggle to reach my goal, I feel stress and a sense of inadequacy but I push myself on. I refuse to give up because giving up would be a failure to me. Not achieving my goal but knowing I gave it my best would be tolerable even if I wasn’t happy with the result.

Once I have worked hard and put in lots of time and energy, I can enjoy the pleasure I feel for completing my task. This is my downhill. I ride this pleasure all the way down and feel joy in my heart.

It is this work ethic that I want to instill in my students. I want them to try and give their best effort when working towards their goals. They may face obstacles and feel like giving up but they need to dig deep into themselves and push themselves to finish.

I will be there to encourage them when they are feeling down. When I feel like their energy is flagging, I will be there to offer support. When they want to give up, I will be there to help them push on. They will not have to fight the uphill journey alone.

I want them to feel the pride of reaching their goals and knowing that their hard work paid off. I want them to be able to ride the downhill feeling joy and a sense of accomplishment and pride.

How do you help your students on the uphill journey? Please share.

Photo by Anthony Da Cruz on Unsplash

Resilience

According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary: resilience is “an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change.”

I recently heard a podcast that talked about resilience. It talked about how when we were more of an agricultural society, children learned about resilience and handling things that they couldn’t control. In today’s society, children tend to have life much easier and aren’t learning how to be resilient. This had me thinking about what I do in the classroom to help students learn to be more resilient. Instead of always solving problems for them, I need to help them figure out ways to solve their own problems.

As a society, we work too hard to make sure our children are comfortable. We don’t want them to want for anything, so we give them too much. It is time to take a step back and help them become more independent.

When my children were growing up, I had a really hard time letting them face natural consequences as long as it didn’t put them in fatal danger.  For example, I wanted to tell them to put a jacket on if I knew it was going to get cold. This sometimes led to arguments and tantrums. Once I learned to back off, they learned to get a jacket in preparation of being cold, because they learned that the last time they forgot, they had to deal with the cold. We weren’t able to return home for them to get their jackets. Natural consequences are a good teacher and it kept me from being the bad guy.

When students forget their school supplies, I can have them discuss ways to solve this problem instead of just giving them what they don’t have. They could borrow from someone else. They could buy some from the school store. They could call home and ask someone to bring them their supplies.

When students don’t turn in their homework, I can find out why they don’t have it and how to fix this in the future. If they did it but left it home, they could call and ask someone to bring it to school. They could take a low grade and turn it in late. If there is an organizational problem, I can help them work out a process that can become a better habit for storing their homework. If they are having a time management problem, I can help them work out a homework schedule.

If they are having a conflict with another student or teacher, I can have them write out the problem. Then they can list possible solutions that would end the conflict. By brainstorming possibilities, it might open up new possibilities. It might also help any future conflicts that might happen.

When students have problems with their classwork, I can help them verbalize their problems instead of letting them just feel frustrated. Once they can understand what their problem is, they can start looking at ways to solve the problem. If they just ignore the problem, it will only get worse.

What are you doing to help your students learn resilience? Please share.