Belonging

This past Sunday, Pastor Andrea talked about belonging. She reminisced about being a new girl in third grade and when facing a lunchroom full of strangers, a new friend appeared and invited her to sit with them. She talks about how Jesus wants us to help others feel like they belong.

This reminded me of many times when I faced new situations and I knew no one there. When I first visited St. Michael’s Lutheran Church, I was so thankful when one of the members invited me to sit with her. When I went to my first knitting retreat, I didn’t know any of the other 199 attendees that I soon became friends. When the pandemic hit, we were able to video chat online and get to know each other before the retreat and it was a much easier transition to a new situation. This sense of belonging is important to me and I believe it is to most people.

I belong to Facebook groups and somehow was appointed an administrator to two of these groups: a hiking group and a postcard collector’s group. As an administrator, I can see when new people join the group and I make it a point to post a welcome to them and encourage others to welcome them. I try to encourage them to post items that may interest the whole group.

When I attend the monthly knitting guild, the group welcomes new visitors and members. During this time, we announce that anyone is welcome to join our local knitting group that meets in person once a week. Any time we get a new person joining us, we make sure that person feels welcome.

Many of my students with special needs had trouble feeling like they belonged. They felt more like outsiders than insiders because of their differences. I tried to make my classroom a place of belonging. I wanted my students to feel like we were family and when any of them seemed to be “alone,” I encouraged the others to support that person and be there for them. I encouraged them to sit together or walk together so they could belong to a unit and not feel they faced the world alone. If they were bullied, I encouraged the others to stand up for them as family does.

Whenever we feel alone, we need to remember that we are not the only person to feel that way. If we look around, more than likely, we will find someone else who feels the same way. We need to remember that we are never alone and that we belong.

How do you show students they belong? Please share.

The Fisher House

While we were in Florida helping my dad transition to his placement at the VA Hospice Facility, we were offered a place at The Fisher House. We had never heard of it and cautiously agreed to it because we wanted to be close to my dad.

“A Fisher House is “a home away from home” for families of patients receiving medical care at major military and VA medical centers. The homes are normally located within walking distance of the treatment facility or have transportation available.”

We originally planned on staying at a hotel near my parent’s house which was 30-40 minutes away from where my dad was. This would be really exhausting to go back and forth but because we were within walking distance of my dad, we were able to see him whenever we wanted because the facility had 24-hour visitation. We were able to be with him during most of his meals and in between, we could get him in a wheelchair and take him around the facility.

The house was just like a bed and breakfast inn! Our room was spacious with two beds, a desk, a reclining chair, and a large smart TV. The common rooms were the kitchen, dining room, living room, and laundry room. The kitchen was well stocked with coffee, tea, and a huge variety of food for every meal!

Shelley, the manager of The Fisher House was the perfect hostess for this place. She was so warm and welcoming that we felt instantly like family rather than an outside guest. We couldn’t have asked for a nicer person to make us feel comfortable. Sam, her sidekick, made sure we were well stocked with food. On the Friday before Father’s Day, they threw a dinner for everyone at the house and their family member at the medical facility. The food was delicious! On Saturday, we met Dawn who also worked there cleaning and preparing rooms for incoming guests. She helped me figure out how to use the washer and dryer.

It seemed like at every turn, they were there checking that we had everything we needed.

I’m so grateful for The Fisher House and everyone involved in making our stay so awesome! We were already under a lot of stress dealing with my stepmom’s death and then having to admit my dad here on the same day. Everyone at the VA worked hard to make this transition easier for all of us and it was truly comforting during this traumatic period. It is such a comfort to be able to check on my father whenever we want to and not be exhausted with worrying about traveling to and from the facility. We are able to spend a lot of quality time with him! 

Thanks to the VA and The Fisher House!

If you’ve ever stayed at a Fisher House, please share your experience.

Original Photos by Pat Hensley

Making a Difference

In I Want My Kids to be MAD for the rest of the year from Thoughts By Jen, Jennifer asks,

“Any other ideas on how I can encourage them to be Making A Difference?”

I thought this was a great thing to focus on for the end of the year and I started thinking of other ways (including myself) that would make a difference to others.

Here are some suggestions:

Take time to pick up trash in a specific area.

Make eye contact with others we see and smile. (I don’t think we do that enough.)

Compliment a complete stranger.

Make “Thinking of You” cards for people we haven’t seen in awhile.

Contact an elderly person to see if they need any help with anything (changing lightbulbs, picking weeds, or doing things that require a ladder or getting on knees.)

Bring canned food to a food pantry for the needy.

Donate old clothes or toys to Goodwill or Salvation Army.

Do a chore that you know a family member doesn’t like to do.

What are things you could suggest? Please share.

How We Treat Ourselves

Recently I was listening to a Jillian Michaels Podcast episode and she talked about how we should treat ourselves like we should treat our children. This really struck home to me. As good parents, we treat our children like precious cargo (which we should) but we don’t do the same to ourselves (which we should!).

When we fly in airplanes, part of the emergency drill is talking about how we should put the oxygen masks over our own faces before we put it on our children’s faces. This gives both of us a better chance of survival because if we put it on the child’s face first and we die, the child may not live either. But we don’t do this in real life and maybe we should.

We make sure our children eat properly and when they should. We don’t want them to miss meals or eat ice cream and junk food all of the time. But I know many teachers (me included) who have missed meals and just ate junk food to get through the day. We encourage students to eat right before tests because it helps them think better, but we don’t treat our bodies the same way!

We expect our children to get enough sleep so they are rested enough to do the things they want to and need to do. Yet, teachers sometimes are burning the candle at both ends and get by on little sleep. Children who don’t get enough sleep can become lethargic, irritable, and have little interest in doing things that need to be done. In fact, lack of sleep can kill. We should be making sure that we get enough rest too!

Exercise and fresh air is important for our children. The same goes for our bodies! Too many adults talk about how slim and energetic they were when they were younger. Why do we not take care of our bodies when they are older?

It seems like we don’t value ourselves as much as we get older and think everything else is more important!

Now as summer vacation approaches, I urge everyone who reads this to take stock of their lives. Think about ways that you can take care of yourself the way you would your own child. Maybe stop and ask yourself, as you do things, would you let your child do this? If the answer is no, maybe it is time to rethink your decision.

We all have worth! I truly believe that God wouldn’t have put us on this earth if we didn’t. I’m not about to question God’s decision! Since I believe this, I need to start taking better care of myself physically and emotionally. By doing this, I will be able to help others more effectively, just like putting the oxygen mask over me first.

How will you take better care of yourself? Please share.

Image: 'Food of Love'
http://www.flickr.com/photos/28165389@N05/2981543442
Found on flickrcc.net

Tell Others They Matter

Angela Maiers has a wonderful campaign called Choose 2 Matter! that has influenced many people around the world. Please take the time to check it out. On her blog, she shared Where Mattering is on the Schedule! where a vice principal of a school is getting people in his school to fill out a form to let others know they matter.

This in turn inspired me to do the same on my campus with my students. I think we get in the habit of kidding with people and making mock insults, that we forget how to say good things about people. I’m hoping I will see differently through my little “experiment.”

I made up a form that I want to use in my university class. Students are invited to note someone who did something noticeable and I will email them with the message. All I need is this person’s name, their email address, and a message. It is up to sender to decide whether they want to give their name or not. I will be interested in seeing how many of my students use this and how often they will use it. When that person (who doesn’t have to be in my class or even a university student) gets the message, they will be invited to use the form to notice someone else.

If you are interested in sending a message to someone, please fill out this form: You Matter!

Take time to let someone know that they matter!

Image: 'You can soar no matter your size'
http://www.flickr.com/photos/76243524@N00/7652891662
Found on flickrcc.net

Others Matter to Me

In Where Mattering is on the Schedule! From Angela Maiers, Speaker, Educator, Writer , Angela Maiers shares about a school in Rhode Island where teachers and students can fill out a form so others can know their actions matter. She shared a form developed by Tim Chace from that Rhode Island School that he used and it was fabulous.

I thought about how great it would be to use this form for people at my university. In fact, I think it would be a great inspiration for people all over, and not just in my school. I will have to work on this or maybe I will contact this administrator and see if I can use it for my purpose.

Then she asked, “Do the people in your life know that they matter to you?”

I am going to work harder at this because I haven’t done a good job with this. Of course I tell my husband this every day because I mean it and he is right there in my life every day. I started thinking about family members who live very far from me and how I don’t let them know this often enough.

I also have friends that are dear to me but I’m not sure that I let them know this. We don’t get to see each other much because we all are busy with our own lives and I realize I need to stop from the craziness and make a conscious effort to do this. I rarely see them but they are in my thoughts often. This of course doesn’t convey to them how much they matter to me or how much their friendship means to me.

In fact, I believe this is going to be one of my goals for next year that I will work hard on. Of course I will start now but I want to make it a regular behavior that becomes a good habit. My monthly review of my goals is really helping me make certain actions into good habits.

I need to do a better job. I need to make sure that I do this before it is too late because it is always easy to put things off until tomorrow. I need to start thinking, “Why wait until tomorrow? Do it now.”

Have you let the people in your life know that they matter to you? If so, how? Please share.

Image: 'Hug'
http://www.flickr.com/photos/80747422@N00/272688925
Found on flickrcc.net