After reading Ten Knitters You Meet In Hell by Franklin Habit, I thought about the teachers that I have crossed across in the classroom that have caused my skin to crawl. I used the same titles he did because they were awesome titles but I give you a description of that teacher in the classroom.
The Divine Presence: She knows everything but wants to keep it a secret so she is the only one who has this information. She doesn’t want to share her knowledge but expects you to know that she is great guru. She expects you to worship the ground she walks on because she is the most experienced and most knowledgeable above everyone else. She doesn’t work well with others and doesn’t believe in collaboration! And she knows more than the administration but just doesn’t understand why they don’t acknowledge this to the whole faculty!
Vaguerella: She is always late to her classroom and never can find the worksheets that she planned on handing out. Her lesson plans (if she has any) are buried underneath the papers on her desk. She has an objective for the lesson but can’t seem to remember what it was. And the papers that she graded last night but promised to return them last week are at home on the table. Oh well, you can get them at another time. Oh, but you will be tested on this stuff probably tomorrow. So, if she can’t find what she needs, it is a good day for her to tell stories about her personal life, even if it doesn’t pertain to the lesson. Oh, and if a colleague needs some forms, information, or materials, that person will get it…some time…someday…but probably not today.
The Four-Minute Egg: The teacher gives the lesson in the first four minutes of class. The rest of the time, you are expected to practice. Even if you mastered the skill, you still have to work out the 100 problems that you are given. When the teacher sees you understand it and have gotten the first 10 problems correct, you are told to go on and do the rest of them. If you are finished, copy by hand all of the notes on the board because practicing penmanship is good for you.
Burnt Toast: The same lesson has been taught for the past 10 years. The pictures show outdated styles and you can’t get past the pictures to pay attention to the lesson. No new technology is used to teach this lesson because teaching it the same way means the teacher doesn’t have to plan anything new (or learn anything new). The teacher even seems bored with this lesson and recites the lesson in a monotone voice! Look around the classroom and you will probably see a few kids taking a nap!
The Prison Matron: The lesson is choreographed right down to every minute. No breaks or pencil sharpening. Don’t ask questions because that throws the timetable off. If you don’t understand, you will have to come on your own time and not throw off the class schedule. Don’t ask for any special treatment and if you are sick, you better make sure you have all the notes, and homework done even if you are in the hospital having surgery! Who cares if you are under anesthesia! Everyone will be assessed the same way. No alternate assessment or meeting anyone’s needs. This isn’t Burger King! You don’t get it your way!
Have you ever met these teachers? Do you know of any others that I missed? Please share!
Posted on the Successful Teaching Blog by loonyhiker (successfulteaching at gmail dot com).