In Nothing is one thing from Seth
Godin's Blog, Seth Godin talks about getting one-word answers for questions
and how this can be annoying and frustrating.
When my nephew was younger, his mom would put him on the
phone with me and it was a tough conversation. Any question I asked, he
answered with one or two words and never asked a question back. It is really
hard to have a conversation like this because it takes both parties
participating in order to have a meaningful conversation. This was very frustrating
for me because I loved my nephew and I wanted to know more about what was going
on in his life.
Then I realized I hadn’t been asking the right questions. I
needed to stop asking questions that enabled only one-word answers. I needed to
dig deeper. Maybe he saw these shallow questions as false interest in him.
So before the calls, I started to think about how I would
ask him questions. Instead of asking how things were going and expecting the
answer of “fine,” I asked him to tell me what was the best thing that happened
to him this week. Then I would ask him to tell me what was the worst thing that
happened to him this week. I would also ask him if money was no object, what
would he wish right now. Sometimes this opened up to longer conversations and
more questions for clarification. Once I started asking the right questions, I
felt like we had a better connection.
This works with my students also. I need to avoid questions
that allow for the one-word answer. Instead of asking, “Do you understand me?”,
I need to ask, “What did I ask you to do?” Instead of just accepting an answer
that can be memorized and repeated, I need to ask them why that is the answer.
I might ask them how they got that answer. These kinds of answers require more
thinking. It allows me to assess for understanding better.
I realize now that just getting the correct answers isn’t
always the best thing. I need to make sure that I’m asking the right questions.
What kinds of questions work best for you and your students?
Please share.
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