Monday, November 16, 2015

I Miss My Friends

In When Friendships End from Janet Given's Blog, Janet Givens asks,

How about you? Have you grieved your lost friendships?”

I have been lucky enough to have some good friends over time but our relationship has changed during this time also.

I had a best friend in high school and when I went away to college, we kept in touch but we lost the closeness that we had. She helped get me through a tough time after my older sister had died and she was there for me all during high school. Eventually she got married and divorced and married again. I got married and struggled with parenthood. We grew apart with different interests and hobbies as well as being far apart geographically. I wish I kept in touch more with her all these years so we could have stayed connected. I still think about her and about once a year we exchange cards or letters.

I had a very close friend in college and we were roommates for two years. Eventually we drifted apart when I started dating my husband and life got complicated. We have reconnected the past couple of years but we aren’t close like we were back then. I wish I could turn the clock back because I would do things differently. If I knew we wouldn’t be close friends because of my lack of attention, I would definitely change my behavior.

I had a close teaching friend who was there for my first day of teaching and came to my retirement party at my last day of teaching in public school. We’ve had our ups and downs as friends do over the years but she is still in contact with me. But I miss the closeness we had of seeing each other every day at the same school. We shared frustrations and successes that only a colleague really understands. We still get together about once a year but it isn’t the same and I miss this.

I have another close friend that before her husband died, the four of us would get together almost weekly to play cards and visit. She was a major support system as I struggled to learn how to be a good wife and mom. After her husband died, we drifted apart but I meet her for lunch about 4 times a year to catch up on each other’s life. I miss our closeness that we had too.

So, when I look back, I still grieve for these friendships that I’ve lost the closeness we had. I believe this is what keeps me from allowing others to get close to me anymore. I have friends, but not close friends. I don’t want to lose any more.

Do you grieve any lost friendships? Please share.

No comments: