“Once I heard a person talk about relationships like a gas tank. You’re either filling the tank (wearing an apron) or causing the person to expend energy on you (bib.) If you use too much of their energy without putting anything back, people will eventually no longer want to be around you.”
This really resounded with me. I think most people wear both at different times in their lives. I don’t it is possible to be one or the other.
I think most people would like to think they are wearing an apron and helping others. By doing this you feel more in charge. You are the one taking action.
When you are wearing the bib, or you are having other people put energy on you, then you are the passive person. It is hard to always be the one taking. I think this hurts people's self-concept.
That is why I think it is important to wear the apron and the bib at different times when you need to. You shouldn’t be embarrassed about wearing either one of them. The only time we should worry if we do one exclusively because I don’t think that is healthy.
As parents, we like our children to learn to give. We teach them it is better to give than to take. I think that is why it is hard for some children to learn because they are embarrassed about being on the other side. They see that being helped is a weakness and they don’t want to appear to be weak.
We should teach our children that it is good to give and take. The important thing is the balance of give-and-take. We shouldn't constantly be giving so much that we lose ourselves in the giving. Sometimes we forget to watch out for ourselves and our health when we keep giving. When we keep taking from others, we tend to be spoiled and we forget how to put in hard work to make things happen.
People don't mind helping others but when they feel they are giving all the time and the other person is taking all the time, they feel unappreciated or being taken for granted. In the same respect those people who are always being helped, may experience learned helplessness or feel like they are not capable of doing something. This may cause them to be afraid to try new things.
How do you feel about aprons and bibs? Which one do you wear? Please share.
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