In 7 Ways to Keep Others from Squeezing the Life Out of You from Cool Cat Teacher Blog, Victoria A Davis shares ways to know if someone is squeezing the life out of you. This is a great post to get me thinking about my relationships with others and how I deal with them. It also makes me stop and think about how I come across to others.
I know people who squeeze the life out of me and have done it to me but it wasn’t fun or productive. Then I feel like I’ve dug a hole that I can’t get out of but I really can if I stop and think about it. I just hope that I’m not one of the vampires that she mentions.
Then I thought, once I identify the ones that are doing this, what steps can I take to avoid these feelings of helplessness and hopelessness.
Here are some options I have:
If they are family, I need to remember that I can’t change the way they act but I can change my own behavior. I can’t choose my family so I need to accept them for what they are. I need to think about my own actions and what they do to cause me to act this way. Then when they push my buttons, I need to behave differently. I also don’t need to subject myself to having to be around these people unless absolutely necessary. I have tried this recently and it really works for me!
If they are friends that I really want to keep, then I need to talk about this with them. I need to explain how their actions make me feel and how I need to do something differently. This might mean being around them less or it might mean that we need to interact differently but maybe together we can solve the problem.
If they are more like acquaintances rather than friends, then I need to distance myself from them. Sometimes I find their drama entertaining and better than TV but then I realize this drama tends to bring me down. It is better to limit my contact with these people.
If they are coworkers who I have to deal with on a daily basis, I need to try to be more positive around them. Hopefully I can influence them into being more positive people. I might even share that for a new yearly goal, I’m going to work on being more positive and would appreciate their help and support.
For those coworkers that I really can’t get along with, I try to deal with them mostly through email and not in person. This really helps when personality conflicts stand in the way of progress.
Build new friendships with more positive people. I’m not talking about those that think everything is wonderful all of the time (which is impossible!) but the ones who are more positive than negative in their outlook on life. Positive feelings are catching!
What other suggestions do you have? Please share.