“When did you have trouble either delivering honesty or receiving it?”
Honesty is very important to me because trust is also important to me. I can’t trust someone if I don’t think they are able to be honest with me. Once someone is dishonest, there is no way I will ever be able to trust them. To me, honesty and trust go hand in hand. Once I don’t have either one of them, it is like a glass that is broken and can never be fixed to its original state. I really try to be honest at all times because that is how I want others to be with me.
I would rather people be honest with me rather than talk behind my back. It may hurt at the time but it is so much better than the hurt over the long term. This is kind of like ripping a band aid off quickly or so slowly that the pain goes on and on. If they are true friends, I can see that their honesty may be helpful to me and not an act of meanness. When someone asks me, “Do you want me to be honest with you?” The people that are important to me don’t need to ask this. I know that they don’t know me well enough and that their opinion has less value then they think it does.
Now after saying all that, I have to admit that I have major problems with being honest if I know it is going to hurt someone’s feelings. I will do all sorts of avoidance tactics in order to not have to say something that will hurt someone. I try to be prepared with neutral statements that doesn’t make me lie but can be used without hurting another person’s feelings. Things like: “It doesn’t work for me but that doesn’t mean it isn’t perfect for you!” or “What most important is whether you like it or not.” Usually I can get by with these statements. Now, if I really dislike something and I think it will hurt the person worse by not being totally honest, I will bite the bullet and just come outright and tell them how I feel.
How do you deal with honesty? Please share.
Image: 'Author Unknown Trust is like a piece+of+paper.+Once+it's+crumpled,+it+can't+be+perfect+again'
Found on flickrcc.net