Tough love and logical consequences from Blue Skunk Blog, Doug Johnson shares a sign from a school that discourages you from bringing things that your child has forgotten. Then he asks,
“Is there any way to make a school culture work for both the students and the teaching staff when it comes to personal responsibility? How rigid should such a policy actually be? Is the school being cruel to be kind - or just being cruel?”
I think there are appropriate times that we need to let a child suffer the consequences of their actions and then there are times we need to help them learn to be more responsible. If we teach them to be more organized, they may not forget the things we need.
But I remember that even as an adult, I forget things and luckily I have been able to find someone to help me when this occurs. Sometimes someone can bring me something I forgot from home or there is someone who let me borrow something of theirs that I may need. Yet, I feel that I’m a very responsible person and even I make mistakes.
I think it is important to teach a young child to be organized. When my children were little, we put out the clothes they would wear in the morning so we didn’t waste time deciding in the morning. We made sure their school stuff was together and ready for school before they went to bed. During our preparations, we would talk about whether they would need anything special the next day. Getting in this habit really helped them as they got older and kept the instances where things were forgotten to a minimum.
If a child forgets the same thing often, then there needs to be a discussion about why this happens regularly. Maybe there is another reason behind this behavior rather than just absentmindedly forgetting.
I also feel that depending on the circumstances, someone should bring things that a child has forgotten. If it is important school work or some kind of team or band equipment, then the item needs to be brought to the child if at all possible. Again, if it happens regularly, then maybe a new type of organization is needed or a discussion about the cause of this behavior.
If an item is forgotten that doesn’t impact the child’s grade or others, then the child should suffer the consequences such as a sweater or show and tell items. This might help them remember to get what they need next time.
I do not think this decision should be made by the school. I think it is the parent’s decision to make because they may know more of the circumstances that lead to this problem more than the school does.
How do you feel about this forgetfulness? Please share.