As long as I was consistent and fair with all of my students, it was alright not to like every single one of my students. As long as I teach equally to all of the students, even the ones I don’t particularly like, it is okay to feel this way. Students are pretty smart in picking up these vibes and followed my lead. It is not okay for me to pick on student, ridicule them, or encourage others to ridicule them. It is not okay if I don’t let this student have an equal chance to participate in the lessons as the others do. When this happens, it is time to reevaluate my motives for teaching. If my motive is only to work with people I like, then teaching is not the career for me.
In the same respect, it is also okay not to be liked by all of my students. Many times I have had a student tell me they hate me or draw pictures of me as a monster (they hated getting homework every night!). I believe that God put me on this earth to teach these students and not necessarily be their friend. They have enough friends but not enough teachers and I have enough friends that if they aren’t one of them, I’ll live.
As long as they are learning, I don’t care if they like me. Many years later many students have come back to me and thanked me for setting limits, demanding respect, and expecting them to give their best. They admitted to not liking me at the time but later realized how much they learned in my class compared to classes where the teacher cared more about being their friend than whether they were learning or not. It is times like this that make me glad I'm a teacher!
8 comments:
Great words.Just today I was sharing with a 1st year teacher how students want teachers to set boundaries for them even if they act as though they don't. She is having issues as to how to care without being " too nice" or "their best friend".
Leslie: I see that a lot with new teachers. I remember a professor telling me it is better to be stricter in the beginning and then lightening up later once I had control but it's almost impossible to go the opposite direction. Thanks for your comment!
Great post. I saw Ron Clark speak this summer at the NBCT Annual Meeting and he admitted that he didn't like all his students. It was a pretty honest statement and lots of the teachers in the room were laughing nervously--recognizing a truth we sometimes hide.
Nancy: It warms my heart to know even great teachers like Ron Clark feels that way! And the good teachers will be the ones who admit it! Thanks for sharing this.
Thanks for your thoughts, Pat! It is that time of year when I am pushing my kids to keep working when they would rather relax. I was starting to wonder if I was doing the right thing! So I appreciate the encouragement to keep being a teacher!
You are absolutely right on this. I always tell my students that while I usually enjoy most of them, it is not what I am paid to do. My job requires that I teach them, which I think I do a pretty good job.
They are always quite amazed when I tell them I don't have to like any of them, but that I usually do anyway ;)
Heather and Ms. Teacher: Thanks for commenting in my blog. I remember my mother once telling me that she loved me because she was my mother but at the time she didn't like me very much because of my behavior. Kids are surprised when you tell them you don't have to like them because they always think that is their ace in the hole when you get them mad. Even my own children would tell me they hated me when I wouldn't let them do what they wanted. I just told them that it was good then because it showed I was doing my job!
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